Simon's Handbook of Smells

Just some fun with the word "handbook" for a competition.

Hi I'm Simon, man's best friend. That's right I'm a dog.

I have decided to make a handbook of smells, a list, a log.

Most dogs can smell and recall about six million scents.

I wanted to share some of my favorites though it's hardly a dent.

At the top of the list is my preferred reward, the yummy dog treat.

And some things make the list like cats, skunks and stinky feet.

Human food dances in my snout too, like steak, liver, or bacon.

Though I've never eaten cats, skunks or feet, I hear they taste like chicken.

We don't shake hands with other dogs, instead we smell their rears.

And I've made some great friends by sniffing their backside souvenirs.

See we don't like cologne or perfume like our two-legged masters do,

we don't have long talks about our pasts, we just smell their number twos.

I don't mean to fill this handbook with silly, childish, gross behavior,

Our noses are our taste buds and they fill our heads with flavor.

I like going on walks when the breeze carries smells I long to explore,

But nothing beats the scent of my master's return home to our door.

Sorry to end this all so quickly, I should never be so rude.

But all this writing has made me hungry and while my mind is in the mood,

I need to hurry before my favorites fade and finish my boring bowl of food.

Reviews

[Salvatore Buttaci]

Gordon, I really appreciated your structured poem from the viewpoint of a dog. It was very funny, nothing forced, smooth-moving. I almost selected it as the winner, but Helena's poem tugged at me and I couldn't pull away.

Thanks for entering the "handbook" challenge.

Sal

[Craig Bates]

Hahah very nicely done. I'm sure anyone with a dog will see the truth in this. All dogs ever want to do is sleep, walk/play and eat. And not necessarily in that order. Thanks for the read.

[Sharon Miller Bolander]

Very much a fun one to read! I needed a laugh and you delivered more than one in this delightful look at smell. Good luck in the contest. :-) Sharon

[Helena]

This is FANTASTIC! What a unique write my friend! Soo funny, I couldn't stop laughing at the lines, and I could well imagine this world from a "dogs" point of view!!

Well done!

~ Helena ~

[Lostmom]

Great job, I knew you could do it. You made me giggle. The kids will love it.

[Bliss]

How cute! This is funny, i love it!