Darkness x 8

I am the darkness times eight

I have conquered the weak minded

I have eaten the light and devoured the great

I am the darkest dark of the blinded

 

I live in the recesses of the mind

I have found refuge in the shadow of light

I have beaten the breadth of mankind

I live where only I have sight

 

I long to find my own darkened soul

I am bored for I cannot be defeated

I am tired, weary, immortal, but old

I long change from the greeter to the greeted

 

So my immortal soul chooses death instead

To repent and walk the other way

To walk towards light to pay my debt

So my new mortal soul may seize the day

Reviews

[Jason Henry]

best poem about darkness i've read in weeks...and it rhymed! the first stanza killed by the way....great job dude

[Poeticpiers]

Intriguing and original subject material Excellent rhyme scheme A liitle more attention to meter would improve it without a doubt

[Satine]

Hi Gordon,

Just passing through...I like the simplicity of this piece, there is an underlying tone of manifest evil that is almost chilling. That being sad, I think both the title and the first line of the write detracts from the tone as it rings in my ears as almost too trite;

"I am the darkness times eight"

I think if you shorten the first line to read: " I am Darkness " (the "D" capitalized as though it's the entities actual name setting up the chill factor right off the bat) and then maybe changing the second line to present tense by dropping the "I've" to read "conquering the weak minded" would really make the read that much more disquieting...just a thought.

Satine