for Somewhere Else

You’re looking for Somewhere Else; we can see it in your eyes. You want a way out, an escape from the memories, so you run around in the labyrinth of your mind, hoping to stumble across an exit sign.

Except all you find are razor-edged pieces of yesterday and the shards of shattered dreams for tomorrow. So you fall to your knees and turn to the sky, begging it to lift you, because today isn’t a place where you can live.

The walls of the maze are made of stone, you whisper through the tears when i lean down to kiss your forehead in the hospital bed. I know what you mean, but there isn’t anything to say. There will be an answer, we told you, stealing a line from your favourite song, but you wouldn’t listen, wouldn’t believe.

The two of us make the drive in silence, your back to me, the hood of your little sweatshirt hanging loosely down. You don’t move when we pull into the driveway. So i say,

“We’re home.”

I hear the words fall from my mouth like pebbles into a well, causing small disruptions in the stillness. Then instantaneously fading away.

You’re still staring out the raindrop-spattered window, out into the grey hopeless world, when i touch your shoulder with all the caution i've ever had.

You haven’t heard me; you haven’t felt me. Even as i walk around to your side of the car and pull you from the vehicle, i know you’re far away from our front yard, lost in a place that i can’t reach.

 

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a/n: "There will be an answer" - from the Beatles' song, Let It Be.