colours of the dark

the woman in grey looks at me from
narrow eyes and a narrow mind
her laughter mockery her smile cold.

the girl in white doesn't come anymore
when i cry out to her and i find her
dying in a corner of my mind.

the man in black breathes foulness on me
from a place above and i wake screaming
in the aftertaste of nightmares, tainted once more.

the stars in silver are silent now, almost
as though the light were fading and i wonder
that i no longer have a place in this world.

 

Reviews

[thecoolone52]

yeah i really liked it a good downer shall i say... thats a oxy moron but a nice write.. good luck in the shorty contest

[Not Afraid of Bruises]

quick things : try play around with the words in lines 2 and 6, I saw a neat little bit of imagery you could do, if you played with them a bit. I don't want to tell you out right though - would ruin the fun :)


"aftertaste of nightmares" - brilliant

last line, in stead of saying 'that'...well, I don't know what else you could say, but 'that' just kind of sticks out too much for me. Still, overall a great write. :)