Sunflowers

Everyday, I go through battles that seeps through my mind like Sunflowers blowing in the wind,

as if it's as easy as that. It controls every part of me, every ounce of what is called my presence.

It tries to concur me in every moment of my life, even the knowledge i seem to have goes away 

in this moment as i feel the sickening torture that i go through when i'm facing my demons.

I could describe the feeling as going up the ladder to jump into a deepened pool full of acid rain,

yet sometimes i decide not to jump, to save the ivory colored wretchedness of my very skin so I 

could keep fighting these battles. Sometimes, it's very hot; the entirety of my mind grasps beyond my

reach. It's as hot as the middle of the summer, when everything seems ablated. The sweat coming down my body, the dry feeling down my throat indicating i'm thirsty, yet i'm so far from getting a glass of ice cold water. My heart, racing as soon as i know I've reached my limit, so then, it's like I walk away from the battle, retreating and coming back later. That's when i'm sleeping, to ease the pain that i somehow feel daily, to energize my spirit and soul so i could fight again and again. Someday, I will win the final battle and all the pain, all the misery and despair I feel could finally go away, as if it never even existed.

Everything seems so twisted in my mind correct? Could it be that you behind this screen judging the very essence of, "I'm fucked up? I'm insane?" Or could it be you don't understand others like me? Who are known as "Disabled"? I don't considered being mentally weak a bad thing. It makes us who we are. It makes us all blessings in this cruel vile world. I consider all of us beseeching while others are blind, we all see the world as what it is; cruel, pointless, an endless torture in this painful domain. Everyone else, sees this world as a blessing, that everything that's happening is what life is all about; being in purpose. Feeling that all we can do is make things as they are: "better".

What could make everything better is if we all make the world a better place. Even the battles i go through make me gracious, and it makes me strong. Yet we could all do the same in reality, because to me, the world is just a constant battle between others that never ceases to stop. We could all stick together, and beat this together. We could make the world a much better place if we just look at the world and do things, help other people to remind them that they are not alone.