1 part out of 100000 of my life

this is some of the basics that have been my struggles in life I hope you read ,and comment below sorry its long

I was born in a small boring town in a small born state named Connecticut .I have dark dark eyes and dark hair. ever since I was young I hated wearing cloths lol . but that's just a little fact haha,my favorite color is black and blue . now on to my story . when I was five my parents got divorced I loved it because that meant i wouldn't t have to spend another night with me and my sister hiding in my room crying .Because my parents would fight and one time my dad got so mad he through everything off our deck and punched a hole in the wall but never hurt me .i have always hated my mom, not just a kid hate or like a mom get away from me hate, but a real fire going inside me full of hate for her. my dad was In the military and would leave for a year and come back for two and leav again leaving me with my emotionally damaged mother who I hated i would plead for my dad to get full custody but never did.
i stayed back in first grade and got bullied a lot till third grade and still do. to this day I don't belive I am smart becuse all my life I've been called dumb and sped since I was in the not smart classes you could call it. I hate reading out loud and standing in front of class I was a very shy kid till fourth grade where I met someone who changed me.
she was my best friend well ok my only friend who I loved we would call eachother wife's . Everyone would call us lesbians for it even though we weren't . I then meet another person at her birthday party,who to this day me and her are the best of friends, and my other friend, me and her ended up hating eachother to this day. I started cutting in fith grade but know one noticed for a while till my sister pointed out a cut on my wrist .I had a talk with my parents it was so embarrassing I wanted to die event more i was diagnosed with depression sice third grade and I'm still struggling with it very much now that my aunti just died after a long five year fight for her life because of stupid cancer . I loved her very much and will miss her but life must go on and it is but I wish it diddnt life is to hard . my grandma the most important persone in my life has pancreatic cancer the worst kind and it will be a year from now in September since we have found out it has been very hard to see the most important ,loving person in your life be so sick and almost die .
I have been acting out in school almost got expelled becuse I got suspended so many times for being an a*s in school I try so hard but I can't help but open my mouth ,get angry and lash out by yelling .arguing ,throwing things ,and cusing I am scared for the consequences for this school year combing up and it's going to be hard but I am strong . the school sycoloigist tells me I'm the strongest girl he has ever meet I've gone through so much this is like 1/1000000 of my pathetic life I'm sorry it's long but this is all I have to type for now thank you for reading this I have my problems and I'm not saying mine are the worst I am greatful for my food and roof over my head and clothes but this is a piece of my story.

Author's Note

basically I'm a angry ,hardheaded ,strong ,independent ,depressed girl that has her problems but knows she can get throu it so thank you for reading it means a lot to me ,leav a comment below

Reviews

[Wolfwind]

It takes courage to share your life. It's takes strength of character to see postives even when the world seems dark. It takes the strength of will to keep placing one foot in front of the other every day. It takes heart to have a friend that will stay by your side. I see here that all apply to the whole flame that is you.

Anyone who reads this piece will relate in some way, even if it's small. That's because we all know pain, and we all know joy and the rollar coaster effect between the two.

It is true that the past can lay down some stepping stones that we really don't want to push away from or remember, but it is important to know that those stepping stone are still a part of who we are and who we will be. They are our experiences that create the moment and give birth to the future.

After reading this I shall share with you this, "You are the director and producer of your own life, don't let anyone else cut your scenes." Your future...is where ever you want to be. The road may be steep, and it may have potholes... but you can climb it as high as you wish... For taking that step ever day... is a choice that you can always make.

Thanks for sharing a window of you. Hope and Light to ya!
Aaron - Wolfwind

[Chris]

Life isn't fair miss...we can only live it as best we can and try to help AS we can. Seems so far you've felt the boot quite a bit BUT it sounds like your attitude didn't stay defeated and down. Catch your breath and pause if you can before speaking - it will help you focus on what you want to say and how you want to say it. We are all human miss, that means we blow it from time-to-time - so don't feel alone.

Take care and don't stop speaking... you've a good voice.

[unbrakable fragile girl]

thank you for your review , i have a lot of trubble pauseing in my writing and I will try harder in the future .life isn't fair but what can you do, I try to make the best of what I got. thank you for your words they mean a lot ,I always look at my reviews and smile and this one definitely lifted up my spirits thank you.

[Troy Henson]

I cried when I read this. So sad but honest, dramatic, raw, truthful...........
There are many things that impact our life, plant seeds in our subconcious and define who we are and how we behave....trust me I know.....
You my girl are brave. You have just stood up in front of the class, pushed the bullies back and spoken out loud to an audience so much bigger than the classroom at your school. Yes you have had a tough life but it's how you manage your life moving forwatd that can shape who you are. Use your past as fuel to the fire to succeed and show all the haters that they were wrong about you. This is a quote of mine and I want you to write this down somewhere and read this often as a friendly reminder that your past is just that;

"Dont let your past dictate who you are, let it help shape who you become"

Use this, read this, believe in this and you will do just fine. Remember too that writing is an outlet. Keep writing and use this as an avenue to help deal with what you are feeling.

Thank you for sharing and you take care.:)

Regards
Troy

[unbrakable fragile girl]

I can't tell you how I felt when I read this review . I am so glad I can efect a reader with my writing , exspeashaly when it's a pice of my life that I share to you and everyone . thank you for your complements they mean a lot. I love that quote you shared to me I will always think of it thank you . in my life I have made mistakes gone throu this and that but it really has shaped me into who I am today .
ilove writing and problibly always will.it helps me exspes my self in a way i cant in words and it helps me let out my feelings in a healthy way along with music and drawing .
Thank you so so soooooo much this means so much to me you don't event know , to have such a high review from such a remodel writer really makes me proud and happy thank you agin .
have a great life wish you the best.