Prologue

El and his team go head to head with the dark lord Scorn.

        The warm rain fell softly, yet the ground was as dead as could be, the sun tried desperately to punch holes through the thick mass of dark clouds as the gently rumbled but to no avail, the smell of death lingered around every corner causing El to nearly gag as he slipped in and out of the shadows trying to stay hidden from the goblins, trolls and orcs of Alothrill’s greatest city, Naruthian. He loathed Alothrill for being the land of darkness that it was, a land full of Bruthonia’s greatest evils but here he was, traveling through it in hiding, on his way to the one place any living being on Bruthonia would hate to be, the dark lords castle, but El needed to be here, he needed to save Bruthonia once again from the darkness that seemed to constantly pour from Alothrill’s cracks and crevices.

        El was known throughout bruthonia as a hero, he continuously fought alongside others such as Alys the elf, Ryz the dwarf and Draken the wizard to bring down the plans brought forth by the dark lord himself, Scorn. This day seemed different to El for some reason. He knew that Alys, Ryz and Draken were here in Alothrill as well, also on their ways to Scorn’s castle but El had a bad feeling, something wasn’t right, he wondered if any of the others felt the same way but he shook off the feeling and continued his trip towards the castle. He could see it, as black as could be and as twisted as the worst nightmares imaginable. El caught a quick glance of Ryz to his right as the dwarf caught up to him.

        “Alys and Draken?”, Ryz spoke in his deep voice.

        “They will be here soon”, El responded as he slowly drew his longsword which seemed to radiate light, “when they get here we will storm the castle and hopefully this time we end Scorn’s evil ways once and for all”. El’s eyes got serious and Ryz sighed before continuing.

        “We have never done this before El, storming the dark lords own house”, Ryz grabbed his large axe off his back, “this could be the end for us as well as him”. El brought his eyes to Ryz’s level.

        “If that is what must be done to bring peace to bruthonia then it’s a chance I’m willing to take”. just as El finished, Alys and Draken arrived, Alys wielding her bow along with a dagger and Draken holding a staff. El eyed the castle before turning his attention to the others, “Ryz, Draken, you two will be heading around the other side of the castle and through the back gate while Alys and I head in through the front providing you with cover and time”. Ryz and Draken nodded in agreement before heading off, leaving Alys and El alone. “Alys, if we don’t make it out”, El began before Alys cut him off with a gentle kiss.

        “Do not worry El my love, we may be going into the darkness but we have our hearts to light the way”, Alys stood and outstretched her hand. El took it and stood with her. Their eyes piercing one another’s in a lovely dance before they broke their gaze and headed towards the castle.

        Two guard’s stood at the entrance, they were obviously goblins. El gripped his blade’s hilt tightly before suddenly bursting into a dash towards the goblins, Alys quickly pulled an arrow from her quiver and launched it in the same direction, the arrow pierced the first goblin in the neck causing it to grunt and bleed profusely and before the other goblin could react, El was on it and swung his blade, decapitating it then quickly lunging his blade through the first goblins chest, silencing it forever. El waited as Alys caught up to him. He watched as she pulled her arrow from the goblins neck before turning towards the entrance and with a few quick slashes of his blade he cut the gate down. The two then ran inside.

        It was dimly lit and smelled foul but El could tell that he was in Alothrill long enough to become slightly used to it but he quickly threw away the thought and continued further into the castle. It didn’t take nearly as long as El thought it would to reach the very top of the castle and to be standing just outside the throne room. El looked into Alys’s eyes and smiled when she smiled, he didn’t think of why they reached their destination with no interruptions but just of the beauty of the elven hero standing next to him. He had never loved any as he loved Alys and he knew, whether this day was his last or not, that he would love her forever.

　



　

        Scorn peered deeply out the window of his throne room with his red eyes, his thoughts were on not the fact that El and his marry band of heroes had just breached his castle but of the project he had been secretly working on. He knew that if El knew of it then he would surely do everything in his power to stop it but Scorn knew that El had no idea of what Scorn was really planning, and of how this day would surely be El’s last on Bruthonia. The dark lord sighed before turning around to see his four strongest personal guard with weapons drawn. The four of them wore masks and had no ability to speak. One, wearing a red mask, wielded a sword that seemed to burn with flame, the second, wearing a blue mask, wielded duel daggers that seemed frozen in ice, the third, wearing a yellow mask, wielded a spear that sparked with energy and the fourth, wearing brown mask, wielded an axe that could easily crush bone. Scorn spoke to them in his usual calm yet empty tone.

“Go now to Nythril and meet with my men their, you know what must be done and how important your role in all this is”. The guards didn’t hesitate before turning to leave but before they reached the door the guard wearing the blue mask fell to it’s knee’s, an arrow piercing it’s forehead. Scorn couldn’t help but allow a small grin to creep onto his face as El and Alys entered his throne room. “well well, I certainly wish I could say this was a nice surprise”. El pointed his blade in Scorn’s direction.

        “This dance between us ends on this day Scorn”.

        “it surely does”, Scorn replied as he lifted his giant sword into the air. His sword was covered in what looked like the faces of demons. El was slightly shocked when Scorn seemed aware that he was going to die but shook it off and prepared to fight as the masked guards prepared to attack. The guard pierced by Alys’s arrow stood and pulled the arrow from it’s head and dropped it to the floor, a trail of black blood fell across it’s blue mask but before any of them could attack Scorn stopped them, “I gave you an order”. the four of them turned for a moment before sheathing their weapons and walking out of the room through a door opposite the one El and Alys came through. Alys watched as they left.

        “Where did you send them?”, Alys rose her bow and pointed it at Scorn who in exchange laughed.

        “where they are going is of no concern of yours elf, now, did you come here to chit chat? Or to end me?”. Alys released the arrow, sending it flying at Scorn who, for his size, moved with amazing speed. The arrow bounced off Scorn’s sword as he spun in circles then throwing his sword toward the ground with all his strength, smashed it through the floor and sent himself along with El and Alys tumbling down to the next floor. El landed first but jumped back as Scorn crashed down just after. Alys kicked off the wall and, quickly drawing her dagger, launched herself at Scorn. El went in for an attack as well, he quickly dodged a swing from Scorn’s sword but out of the corner of his eye noticed that Alys wasn’t as lucky. She hit the wall and fell to the floor, it seemed that she was only hit by his fist and not his blade. El sighed in relief and jumped dodging another of Scorn’s swings, this time swinging his own blade with lightning speed, tearing deep cuts and gashes into Scorn’s right leg. Scorn roared in anger and pain and threw a fast punch towards El and hit his mark. El felt the pain as Scorn’s fist connected with his face and sent him into the wall. Scorn then came in to finish El off but just before the dark lord smashed his sword into El a blast of wind blew into the room and knocked Scorn back. El looked over to see that the wind attack came from Draken. El quickly took the chance to check on Alys.

        “Alys, are you alright?”. her eyes opened and she sat up, wiping a small amount of blood from her lip.

        “Yes El, I’m alright”, Alys stood up with help from El and picked up her bow, “no time to talk”. The elf began launching arrow after arrow into Draken’s wind blast making her arrows fly even faster then usual. Arrows piercing Scorn here and their but seemed only to enrage the dark lord further. Scorn lifted his hand and began walking through the wind attack toward Draken. Ryz appeared behind Draken and tossed a hand axe into the wind giving it the same effect as the arrows. The axe slammed into Scorn’s left shoulder but he continued walking through the attack. El jumped onto some of the rubble from the ceiling and leaped onto Scorn’s back, once again slashing with lightning speed. Scorn screamed out curses before falling to his knee’s. El lifted his blade into the air to deliver the final strike.

        “Take you’re evil to the underworld!”, El then swung downward, pushing his sword as deep into the back of Scorn’s head as possible. Scorn’s eyes widened and a few grunts left him before he fell forward. Everything went quiet as the four heroes gave each other glances. Ryz slowly began laughing followed by Draken. El and Alys smiled at one another and El started to walk to her, he watched her face, her smile, her beauty but then something was wrong, her smile faded and her eyes widened in fear and then El felt it, he felt the blade slide through his stomach and felt his feet leave the ground as Scorn stood and rose his sword.

        He felt himself hit the ground when Scorn tossed him like a doll. He saw Alys’s lips mouth his name but he heard nothing, he didn’t hear Ryz yell out in pain when Scorn smashed him into the ground with his fist over and over, he didn’t hear Draken scream when Scorn smashed him through a wall then tear him limb from limb. He saw Alys run to him and he saw Scorn stop her, he saw his grin, he saw his red eyes gleam with evil, he watched as he lifted his blade into the air and he watched as he swung down. El had watched his friends die. He watched his lover die. He watched as the world faded into blackness around him and it was then that he heard a voice from the back of his mind speak his name, a voice that told him to stand, a voice that told him to fight, a voice that told him he had to avenge them and it wasn’t but a moment before El realized he was standing with his sword in hand, he felt an energy run through his body and felt himself glow, he watched as Scorn’s face turned frightened, a look that El found suiting. The hero felt his feet leave the ground again, this time though on his own, he was flying, he had the wings of an angel and he flew into the air, he felt no pain, no sadness and his eyes only saw what they needed to and that was Scorn. El attacked, plunging his sword deep into Scorn’s chest again and again then somehow seemed to have teleported behind Scorn, El saw an opening and didn’t question where this power had come from, he lifted his sword and swung, slicing the back of Scorn’s neck open. El then appeared in front of Scorn and placed his hand on his forehead, everything began shaking, debris fell all around them as the ground began to open up and swallow everything. El watched as Scorn was suddenly dragged into the earth shouting curses and the ground closed up as if it had never opened and it was then that El saw nothing at all, it was then that El let the darkness take him.

 



　

        “I’m assuming that if Scorn sent you then it’s time?”, asked an older man. The four masked guards did not reply. The older man just smiled, “very well, allow project Scion to begin”.

Reviews

[Elliara]

I love this start, but I'm a little confused. I feel like I'm jumping in a middle of a scene for a prologue. Maybe a little less of the action and a bit more background? It's just me, though.

Grammer:
Some of your sentences are really really long, and could be split up nicely. Some of your punctuation is off.

For example:
"He felt himself hit the ground when Scorn tossed him like a doll. He saw Alys’s lips mouth his name but he heard nothing, he didn’t hear Ryz yell out in pain when Scorn smashed him into the ground with his fist over and over, he didn’t hear Draken scream when Scorn smashed him through a wall then tear him limb from limb." ----> this is a really long sentence. Maybe if you said instead:

"He felt himself hit the ground when Scorn tossed him like a doll. He saw Alys' lips mouth his name but he heard nothing. He didn't hear Ryz yell out in pain when Scorn smashed him into the ground with his fist over and over. He didn’t [even] hear Draken scream when Scorn smashed him through a wall then tear him limb from limb." ---> something to this effect.

Again, fix up your punctuation. Some sentences need comma's, other's don't. Capitalization on your sentences, especially in your dialog.

Otherwise, great start, can't wait to read Chapter 1.