Reality

I was trapped
Stuck within wood and obnoxious blue plastic
Voices on the outside
They mocked me

Each word
Like a blood sucking leech
Slurping the life
Out of everything i loved

I wanted to be freed
I believed beauty was an art
Not a science
You made life an equation

So I went on a mental vacation
To the one place
That I had never felt so free
While reality disgusted me

Reviews

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

The first two stanzas are very vivid. The imagery of the "wood and obnoxious blue plastic" is very good...makes me wonder where this took place. The third and fourth are a bit confusing to me, only because I am not sure what happened here to make you want to be freed and go on "a mental vacation". I feel that you are being bullied here about what I am not sure...was it your writing perhaps. Maybe, I am way off here . I say this because of the mention of "I believed beauty was an art, not a science".

I would love to see this with some of that same imagery from 1 & 2 in 3 &4. Hope you don't mind the suggestions. I really have been reading many of your poems. I am very impressed with so many of the young writers here, and I applaud you. You become a writer by writing...wish I had learned that sooner.

[JRB]

So I went on a mental vacation
To the one place
That I had never felt so free
While reality disgusted me

BEEN THERE DONE THAT,,,, NICE WRITE