Being Stupid. Chapter Five

"Sage this is the fifth time in two weeks you have missed a test. What's going on?" My mother asks, while placing a cool washcloth on my claimy forehead. "Tests stress me out. I didn't mean to faint," I answer.

My mom sighs, running a hand through her long blond hair. Her blue eyes are tired and watery from age, and probably stress too. "I know, honey. I know this year has been tough. It has been tough for me too." 

"Mom, I don't really see Dad leaving having anything to do with-" 

"Sage, please," My mother's blue eyes land sharply on me, she tries to hide it, but I can see the small flash of pain in her eyes, "Don't talk about your father." She stands up off my bed, heading out the door.

She stops suddenly, turns to look at me, "Feel better, sweetie." And with that she closes the door. 

 

                                              *                 *                * 

I really miss my dad. I understand why he left. My mom says its because of her, but I know the truth.

 

It was me. 

 

I can't really say I blame him; if I was in his shoes I would have left too. I'm needy, and rude, and stubborn. So I can't really be mad at him for doing what everyone else wanted to. 

I just wish he hadn't hurt mom. Or May. It has been the hardest for them. 

Maybe if I had tried harder, if I hadn't been so needy, he might've stayed. He'd still be with us. 

"Sage? Where are you going?"  

I look up to realize the whole time I've been thinking these thoughts I had made my way downstairs. May and Mom are sitting at the table, beginning to eat. 

"I...uh...was..I um," I try to think of a way to explain my behavior, but I can't, "Um....a walk?" I try to sound sure of myself, but my voice makes it sound more like I'm asking than telling. 

"Is that a question?" My mother asks, the corner of her lips twitch in mild amusement. 

I clear my throat, straighten my posture, "No. I'm going for a walk. See ya." 

I grab my jacket off of the coatrack and pull it over my shoulders, shutting the door behind me. 

Outside, the air is crisp, cold enough to send a small chill down my spine. The sun is setting, leaving a soft pink and orange ribbon fanning across the sky. 

I'm still a little woozy from fainting earlier, and when I start to walk my legs shake a little. 

"Hey, Harrison! Need some help?" A voice calls. 

I turn my head to see Jeremy Taylor making his way over to me. What the hell is he doing here? 

The sun sets on his dark blond hair as he walks towards me, hands in his jean pockets. He kicks a pebble with his sneaker as he makes his way down my yard to me. "Heard you fainted, you okay?" 

For a second I just stand there, wondering why on earth the most popular boy in school is standing in my yard, asking how I'm feeling. 

"Sage? Hello? Anyone home?" He smiles playfully, stopping a few feet in front of me. 

Say something, moron. 

"I-I'm fine. Thanks." I turn my head to start what I set off to do, when he reaches out and grabs my arm. 

"Hey, wait!" 

I turn my head to face him, a little to sharply, and growl, "What?" 

His eyes widen and he drops my arm, raising both his hands in the air, "Sorry. Just thought you might want a walking buddy." 

"I'm fine. Thanks," I say coldly. 

Damn, even I could hear the B***h in that. 

Jeremy steps back, his hands up in surrender. "Fine, fine. I'll leave. See ya later, Sage." 

He turns to go. 

I'm reminded for some reason of my father. The way he turned on his heel, the way he looked at me like...

I wasn't worth it. 

 

"Wait." I say, and he turns, a smile on his lips, as if he knew I'd change my mind, "Do you...wanna walk with me?" 

His smile sends chills down my arms and something twists in my stomach when he lights up and says, "Sure." 

Author's Note

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