Shameless Chapter Twenty Five

I stand in front of the door, breathing heavily. I'm reminded of a few days ago, where I knocked on Daniel's door.

A nervous gulp struggles to travel down my throat.

I knock.

The distant footfall of feet comes from inside the house, and the door opens. A small, old woman smiles at me. "Hello, may I help you?" Her hair is long and white, braided down her back, and she wears a long skirt and sandals, along with a flowing white blouse. "Is Jonah home?" I ask.

The woman smiles and turns her head,leaving the door slightly ajar. "Jonah! There is a girl here to see you!" She smiles at me and opens the door wider, "Please come in, sweetie." I walk inside and wait for my eyes to adjust to the dim lighting. Upstairs, the sound of someone running down them fills my ears, and a very disheveled Jonah appears.

His hair is a wild mess, sticking up in crazy places, he is wearing a white t-shirt, and gray sweatpants, with fading white socks. I can't help but smile.

When he sees me Jonah gives a bewildered smile, "Clare? What are you doing here?"

Suddenly, I feel awkward. The woman smiles at me, and Jonah looks at her, as if noticing her for the first time. "Grandma? Could you excuse us?"

She laughs, and waves her hand, "I'm going, I'm going." And leaves the room.

Jonah looks at me, his blue eyes staring straight into my very core. "What are you doing here?" He asks again.

wrapped in each others arms,, lips pressed against each others, in a web of dried tears and sorrow and forgiveness.

Suddenly, I feel guilty.

"Can we...uh...talk?"

He nods, and looks behind him, over in the other room, "Sure, lets um...go outside."

* * *

The park is beautiful. I can't even remember the last time I'd been here. Jonah sits next to me, crosslegged at the very edge of the creek. He has changed from a pair of sweatpants to jeans, and put on a pair of sneakers. We sit there, knee to knee, staring at the water. Its dark, and so the moon and stars cast a ghostly glow across the sparkling water.

"What...what...happened, to your friend?" I ask quietly, not looking up. Jonah lets out a sigh, and runs a hand through his hair. "Its...a long story."

I shrug, giving him a playful smile, "I've got time." He looks up at me, and a tiny smile pulls at his lips, exposing dimples in his cheeks.

...We're wrapped in each others arms,, lips pressed against each others, in a web of dried tears and sorrow and forgiveness.

"Tanner had been living with me and my grandparents for the last few months," Jonah starts, throwing a pebble into the water.

I watch it skip, pulling streaks of water with it, before it sinks to the bottom.

"Tanner hated the Switched program, said it was a bunch of bullshit, always taking crap about it," Jonah laughs, his eyes far away. "One day, he brought a kid home. Said he was a friend from the Program." Jonah looks at me, and I nod, "Daniel."

He nods, "Right. Anyway, we all decided to go out to a party Daniel had been talking about. It was in the bitter, old parts of town, you know? The ones with all the criminals?"

I nod, remembering a school I used to go to in that area. Drugs, HexaWar survivalists, etc.

"It was fine, we had fun, but Daniel and Tanner got a little drunk, so I decided to take them home. They were slumping around, falling into things. So, I decided it would probably be easier to take them to Daniel's old apartment, until the buzz wore off." Jonah's eyes turn dark for a second and when he speaks again, I can detect a hint of choked tears in his voice, "As we were climbing the stairs...Tanner nudged Daniel in the shoulder, and Daniel got rammed into the railing. He was pissed, and the next thing I know,Daniel shoves Tanner off the stairs, and Tanner goes tumbling."

Jonah's breath hitches, "Four flights." I gasp, and Jonah nods, looking at the ground.

"That's why I tried to warn you about him. He's dangerous."

Out of habit, I start to defend him, "But it was an accident, he didn't mean-"

"You know what he said to me? At the funeral?" Jonah asks, staring angrily in my eyes, "He said it was Tanner's time to go anyway. That he wasn't going anywhere anyway, and everyone was better off without him."

I stare straight into his eyes, looking for a hint of lie, but find nothing but truth. "I see the way he looks at you, Clara. He looks at you like he loves you, but behind that, you can see hunger. You can see...evil." He says.

I shake my head, looking away.

We're wrapped in each others arms, lips pressed against each others, in a web of dried tears and sorrow and forgiveness.

"Jonah...I....I kissed him."

"What?" He whispers, his voice astonished. I look down, "Well...he kissed me...and....I kissed him back, but...it happened."

He doesn't say anything for a long time, and I can hear the blood pounding in my ears.

"Well....say something."

He looks me straight in the eye, "Do you love him?"

I look into the water, watching the water gently twist, "I...I don't know."

We're wrapped in each others arms, lips pressed against each others, in a web of dried tears and sorrow and forgiveness.

Jonah turns his head to look at me, and runs his thumb gently over my cheek. His face is so close, I can feel his breath on my cheeks.

Our lips are so close...so....so close.

Suddenly, the spell is broken. He drops his hand, shaking his head, "I...I better go."

He stands up, and turns his head, "Bye, Clara."

I watch his frame walk out of the park, moving quickly, until I can't see him anymore.

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