Shadows

Thoughts in my mind

Sometimes I wonder, am I supposed to be here? Does my life have purpose? Why is there a never ending emptiness inside me? I find myself captivated by these questions in the dark thoughts of midnight. The dull fake smile I portray day in and day out is becoming more real and the beloved light in me is fading away more and more every day. I am consumed by the shadow that follows me and watches me while I sleep. It surrounds me, acting as a friend that I so desperately need. Not a friend, it is making me darker and more numb. I can not escape it. It consumes me. Making me weaker I sleep more than I am awake and when I am awake I am a walking Squonk hidden deep in the forest of my bedroom. I am not sure how I got to this place or where it began. Motivation has passed me and moved on to another, one more worthy. I look in the mirror and I don’t know who I see. The beautiful Emma is lost somewhere in the depths of a damaged mind. It has been so long I am not sure she is still there or if the shadows consumed her too. It comes out as anger towards the ones who love me. I can’t help but hate the world around me and wonder how did it get so bad. I see the people around me loving life and having so many things to look forward to. Was I missed? What is wrong with me? I am not good enough to keep around. In their eyes I am only good for when they need me not for when I am falling and need them. These people they gave me life, I saw a light at the end of the tunnel but just like that we are strangers again. They decided they did not need me anymore. I am losing more and more of myself everyday. Soon I will be nothing. The shadow will overtake me and I will be absent. 

Reviews

[Hyphenated]

This is the absurdity of existence. But give it a grip, we are all here for some purpose. Loved your writing! So emotional and deep

[unknown404]

You can change your own shadow or perhaps, hide it with a playing of lights. Nonetheless, everyone has a shadow, whether it be longer, taller, skinnier, wider, than your own- do we ever really know?