Shattered

SHATTERED

Shattering glass
Shattered heart
The mirror cracked
Tore my world apart

Silent anger
Screaming soul
My mind is crumbling
Nothing left whole

Pure emotion
Love and hate
Simmering, shattering
Left to fate

Screaming anger
Silent heart
Shattered soul
Tore my world apart.

 

Reviews

[deleted]

Very sensitive piece. It is as if you opened up your soul and allowed the reader to feel your pain. It was dark and doleful, however, I think that you did a great job on showing the emotions and your intent of the poem. Well done!

[EILEEN McGUINNESS]

Just a few alteration recommendations
Shattering is in the present tense and shattered is in the past so might you just say shattered in the first line,the 8th verse sounds a bit stuttered NOTHING LEFT WHOLE COULD CHANGE TO (WITHIN MY ACHING SOUL)
How can a silent soul tear your world apart? meaning energy that is angry is will make us implode the silence of an eternity only serves us to reflect

[EILEEN McGUINNESS]

This is both raw and full of emotion the shattered splintered life unlike the mirror can be patched up but for now the pieces of a dream lay spread out on the floor where a dream has turned to nightmare and the heart grieves for a lost love and the feeling of betrayal and smell of tainted love hangs in the air.

[Shadow Writer]

The emotions flow effortlessly in this poem and become an image that becomes a reflection from the mirror of life. Well done. Phantom...

[Eagle Cruagh]

Again you have written a poem loaded with passion.
Anger, desolation, love, hate and confustion.
You have brought all of this to play in few short words.

People have written volumes trying say less.

I sincerely hope that you are not the victim in this
story. Let it be a work of fiction.

----- Eagle Cruagh

[Creepy Swine Guy]

I know the feeling too. Hurt ... anger ... betrayal ... sadness. You wrote it well. I speak from experience ... I am the King of the left behind.

[Alucard]

Wow I have been left by two women in my life time and each time it was like being run through a meat grinder. I can so relate to this. Short but very deep!