Midnight

My first poem

Midnight

Midnight whispers
parading the sky
caressing the heart
with feelings
unsusceptible to pain
or
heartache
but all too soon
the moment is gone
and the feeling of tenderness
leaves only a sensation
of loneliness.

 

 

Midnight whispers

Parading the sky

Caressing young hearts

Inticing the mind

With feelings

Unsusceptible to pain

Or heartache.

Intoxicate, anticipate.

You are beautiful.

But all too soon

The moment is gone

and the feeling of tenderness

fades with the light of the moon

And leaves only

a sensation of lonliness.

 

Author's Note

I thought I'd try my hand at re-writing an original piece, which I never do.
I would love to know what you think of the new version. Or should I stick with the original.

Reviews

[An owl on the moon]

Both passages take us on that lonely journey through the fading light of the moon... Yet somehow I connected to the second piece just a little more. Both are simply exquisite expressions of the heart.

[KingPatwic]

nice poem - i like how you seperated the stanzas and used more advanced words

[Eagle Cruagh]

Awww !

Just at midnight ?

It seems I have that feeling all the time, lonely,
an ache, visions of loveliness, sweet thoughts and
many more.
This is a sweet simple poem. It just seems to have
come from a sweet , simple girl. A vision of lovliness.

My Favorite.

----- Eagle Cruagh

[Jinx's Heart]

Aww! Such a sweet, simple poem. I love it. Even here, your talent shows prominently. Well done!