Teasing

Met the guy
at age 14.
Let me cry my eyes out,
watched me eat my screams.
Knew that he
was the one.
Gave him everything I had,
one day
he decided
that he was just done.
Love of my life
flashed before my eyes
and I didn't even know it.
Chances are
he really isn't.
Someone even more
perfect than someone like him
will come along,
step into my life
and make me truly happy.
Not this bullshit you gave me.
I'd like to believe
he's the one for me.
Even if he doesn't know it yet.
Destiny has a
funny way of working
itself out of
sticky situations.
Just gets rid of them.
Let's them go.
Writes them on a balloon
and has it fly away.
But I can't do that,
I'm not ready.
He still means too much;
I'm lost without
the constant sensation of pain.
Day and night
running through my veins.
No need for damned sight
to know what happened to me.
I mean too much,
or so I thought.
He's the tease,
he's the reason I lost it.

Reviews

[S. Michael Long]

I really really like this, but i am wondering if it would read better if it were done using stanzas, instead of all run together (like 2 sentances/1 sentance then spaces between? I LOVE the line let me cry my eyes out, then watched me eat my screams.. this is AWESOME.. The stanza thing for example.. i think and its just an opinion would really make the reading more powerful to the reader because it gives him/her time to think the words through before the next stanza.. I think it would work well as a couplet.. keep it up! -s.

[Emma Cathryn]

Thanks! I normally just write these during class or something, so I just scribble the ideas all down before I lose them :)