Inside and Out

I thought this was over,
I thought we were done.
I'm calling it quits,
burnt by the sun.
Some call it random,
but I'm thinking no.
I've had this in my mind
and I couldn't let it go.
I want to talk about it,
scream it all out,
but then you'll just run
and spread rumors about.
We are better off alone than
friends anyways.
What I thought could once be
feels so far away.
You left me and lied,
smiling as I died.
I kicked and I screamed,
regretting my dreams,
the ones where this started
with your sweet melodies.
What i was thought was sweet
was only one the outside,
because inside
you were just so haunted.
I'll go forgive,
while you just forget
because I always give
and you always get.
I want this to end
so we can pretend
that this never happened,
it never really begins.
The timing for this is perfect,
time for amends.
The least thing I want now
is for us to be friends.
Enemies is worse though,
so I'm dying to say,
forget it all;
let's throw this away.
My head is feeling so heavy
and my heart lies so empty,
except for the piece
that you keep for too many
years to come.
Month after month
to years after years,
the same thing will happen.
Start wiping my tears.
"Go away," you'd tell me,
so why would I stay?
My mouth was so dry and
I had nothing to say.
"Your life is useless and
you were poorly led.
People would much rather
have you be dead."
While walking away from all this pain,
I got it in my head
that my life was a game.
You were my opponent
and I was the host.
I should've been winning,
but you aimed for the coast,
getting to drown me in all of my dreams
and hopes.

Author's Note

Less than friends.
More than enemies.