I enjoyed this. Archaic? Maybe. Doesnt matter if it has substance. I often take liberties with form and it feel like I do okay. Read it twice. Nice job
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed it. (and exactly! Archaic presentation shouldn't matter as long .. read moreThank you so much! Glad you enjoyed it. (and exactly! Archaic presentation shouldn't matter as long as it has substance.)
Not a big form fan in general because it often can seem forced into a pattern. But this poem had me so focused on the theme, the words, the rhymes passed right by me almost unnoticed.
Time for each individual, time for the world itself...it just keeps finding itself in the rear-view mirror.
And we all keep driving on.
Nicely done, emipoemi.
j.
"but at my back I always hear Time's wingèd chariot hurrying near" eh? lol I make it a purpose in m.. read more"but at my back I always hear Time's wingèd chariot hurrying near" eh? lol I make it a purpose in my work to show the world that metric verse still has a pulse, and people are giving it a bad rap just because it's "archaic" (of course, I write Free verse as well, but mostly metric). Those who had turned you off it might have just been severely untaught or outright bad. It all comes down to the craft in the end, no? But thank you so much for reading (and your comments). Glad you enjoyed the poem.
2 Years Ago
You are a rare exception for me, emipoemi---
my dislike for those forms began back in 1966 in.. read moreYou are a rare exception for me, emipoemi---
my dislike for those forms began back in 1966 in high school...but there were always exceptions, even then.
j.
Nice. Terza Rima. I like how you completed the circle with the last two lines rhyming with the A of the ABA. Not a fan of contractions in modern poetry as they are archaic in use, though in this instance it fits with the form and in it's frequent use it shows that it's not a crutch, but intentional to display a certain gravity of the subject. 31 views and no reviews. Not surprised. This is one of those forms most poets should have at least cut their teeth on in their earlier years, but it is hard to write and hard to maintain some type of semblance of art without it looking and sounding clunky. Which this does not. No I will not post mine. Do not ask. Great work.
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
It's definitely hard to write (up there with a Villanelle and a Sestina in difficulty), but it merel.. read moreIt's definitely hard to write (up there with a Villanelle and a Sestina in difficulty), but it merely needs the proper theme, and time was the perfect theme to attempt the form as it very well "loops on end, though seldom on repeat". So it was a fun experiment to see where I could take that concept. And you may not be a fan, but contractions do come in handy in certain occasions. Just because something is archaic, doesn't make it obsolete, right? But I'm glad you saw that mine fit the tone and language of the poem, and were still able to enjoy it. Thanks for reading! (when you get the hang of yours, I would very much like to read it).
Compartment 114
Compartment 114
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