University

They’ll rob you of your money,

They’ll rob you of your thrills,

They’ll strip you of your assets,

And burden you with ills.

 

They’ll wear away your vigour,

They’ll wear away your soul,

They’ll veer you from your bearing,

Delaying thus your goal.

 

They’ll drown you in the Massawippi,

Mississippi,

With a nippy

Chill and snippy

Attitude that’s odiously odd!

 

For they sit on the side of fences

Of offenses,

False pretenses,

Lacking senses,

Unaware their policies are flawed!

 

They’re strictly bureaucratic

With rigorous routines,

Particularly programmed

To function like machines!

 

They overrule objections,

And disregard the strife

They cause by placing money

Above a student’s life!

 

So bring volcanoes to eruption,

Cause disruption,

Interruption,

End corruption

In the sphere of university!

 

For though our boughs are often shaken,

Not mistaken,

Not forsaken,

Slabs of bacon

Least of all have we a right to be!

-EDP

Reviews

[emily.c.]

Massawippi ! You didn't go to bishops did you ? A great, powerful read full of ups and downs.

[emipoemi]

I def did weather four years of Hell at Bishops (hence the poem). Don't tell me you went too!! (What were your years?) Not sure what "ups" appear in the poem, but I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading.

[emily.c.]

Full of feeling. I had very positive memories there but I graduated a little while ago. Small world.

[emipoemi]

how long is "a little wild".....must have been before they went corrupt. Like, I had positive memories from there, too, but I was also part of the 10% that were heavily getting beaten by the flawed policies of the administration.....to the point where I still don't have my diploma.

[mattavelli]

Hello, emipoemi! :)
I enjoyed your poem. Seems you enjoyed uni too. Haha
Someone told me that colleges are pyramid schemes. I suppose they are in some instances.

[emipoemi]

"some" is an understatement. I would say most. It's always those that pay the most tuition that get hurt the most

[Onlyme]

I enjoyed this and so very true.

[emipoemi]

So glad you did. Thanks for reading.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i relate to this...back in the 60's when i attended SIU it wasn't quite as expensive...but we seem to lose identity, just being a number...and in some classes 200 students.
But there were so many professors who talked at us instead of to us, and also many seemed to just love to hear themselves talk. It was almost as if the students weren't even part of the equation.
the poem brought me back...i flinched a little but then smiled.
j.

[emipoemi]

it's pretty much the same nowadays. Not many profs are actually teaching things worth our while, and nothing feels like it's going anywhere. But thank you so much for reading. Glad you enjoyed it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I imagine it is so...I teach at two community colleges but believe strongly in having classes based on much participation...especially teaching English...writing is learned from doing it and talking about it, not talking at students.
j.

[emipoemi]

"experience is the best teacher"! I've stood by that statement for the longest time. Knowledge bombardment is ridiculous.

[Dave Brown]

I've been through it, my daughter-in-law is still paying for it ( she had to go through BCIT after UBC to get a career) and my Grandson will soon be going into it
It is a huge financial burden, as you well know
Nicely ranted
Dave

[emipoemi]

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it.

[Beccy]

It's been two decades since I waved goodbye to uni. Things have changed since then, successive governments paying only lip service to the fact that the jobs market has changed beyond recognition, that a degree no longer guarantees a better future. PLus, to add to the misery, business more and more demands a day one return over above the hourly stipend, with little or no regard to the nurturing of their fledgling workforce.

It's the same with the requirement that students have to stay in some kind of full time education until the age of eighteen. Supposedly it was brought in to tackle the rising problem of an unskilled workforce, but in my view it was more a knee jerk panic reaction to the crisis of rising youth unemployment. I mean, if they are still in education, then they ain't in the jobs queue, or claiming benefits are they.

Or am I being cynical?

Beccy.

[emipoemi]

Can't say whether you are being cynical, but I support all you're saying. I believe it. I've spent 5 years in a hellhole, forced against my will to get a degree that I never even wanted in the first place. And I'm the one who's suffering as a result. Got no job, but a psychological disorder, and struggling to get my writing out there.

Glad you enjoyed this. Thanks for reading.

[Re-Pete]

ouch. colleges are part of an overall system. its "pay to play or go away." they have their flaws like everything else. great rant ... :)

[emipoemi]

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it.

[barleygirl]

This is a well-crafted rant using the magic of wordplay like a master. Frankly, the way you describe advanced education could describe almost anything institutional in this day & age, where ordinary people are left destitute & feeling ripped off by the system. My experience at the university level (decades ago) was uninspired, but I always enjoyed community college becuz instructors are often plucked from industry & real life, offering common sense lessons (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[emipoemi]

Oh, if only community college degrees had as much value. But truly, experience is and always shall be the best teacher, and after 5 years of Hell at the uni that I had attended, such a factor was definitely confirmed. Glad you enjoyed this. Thanks for reading.

[Chris Shaw]

Yes, it's all about money now with Vice Chancellors earning huge sums of money (in the UK). Do students get value for money? I think not, and they also end up with a massive debt to boot. Modern apprenticeships in my opinion have much to offer. Get paid as you learn on the job. Our granddaughter, looking in this direction after completing her A levels. Very topical write here.

Chris

[emipoemi]

You understood this well! Indeed, apprenticeships are much better than sitting in a classroom getting bombarded with info that wouldn't necessarily stick later. Glad you enjoyed this. Thanks for reading.

[Chris Shaw]

A good read, and informative