Heaven and Hell

Heaven shines above us,

Hell is hot below.

Both are all around us,

Ev’rywhere we go.

 

We’re angels and we’re devils,

We’re sheer satanic saints.

We tickle and we torture

With tenderness and taints.

 

Peace streams through our nature,

Strife prowls through our role;

Home is where the heart is,

Limbo where the soul.

 

So if the high be Heaven

And if the low be Hell,

We on our earthly planet

In purgatory dwell.

-EDP

Reviews

[❀ Gabriela ..]

"Heaven shines above us,
Hell is hot below.
Both are all around us,
Ev’rywhere where we go."

This is so very well put!! I feel as though in life we walk along a precipice- every good or moral action keeps us steady on the path to heaven, and every evil one causes us to edge closer to our doom. I'm not sure if this is what you meant to describe here, but that is what this stanza made me think of. And the following stanza is so wonderfully eerie- the way each one of us is as capable of great goodness, as we are of great evil- it is frightening to think about. Strife definitely 'prowls' in us, as we must battle ourselves constantly throughout the full length of our earthly existence if we wish to not fall. Absolutely profound- wonderful work!

[emipoemi]

Thank you so much! The poem merely means to portray both sides of human nature and then question what living on Earth might mean. Only in that way is it supposed to be profound (all other ways are merely coincidental). Thanks for reading! Glad you enjoyed it.

[Rachel Richardson]

I not only love this poem for it's lyrical nature and excellent use of literary devices (particularly alliteration) but because I believe the exact same thing. We're all just biding our time.

[Rebecca Leigh]

Extremely profound poem... I love the way you convey life how it is v.s how you want it to be, well done poetess

[emipoemi]

Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it.......btw, you're not the only one to fall under the misunderstanding - it may have been a slip, but I know it my name can be misleading for some non-latino heritage folk but - I'm a guy.....no worries, however, I just thought I should clear that up.

[Autumn Raine]

Oh damn. This is beautiful. We write somewhat similar. I like it.

[emipoemi]

Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it. Yeah, it looks like we may write in a similar fashion, I though am very eclectic in my themes, but I do rhyme a lot, which is possibly where the similarity lies most. Thanks for reading.

[Kibbles and Quips]

Know what I like about this poem? The contrast between the message and the execution of it. It is somewhat fitting, the lackadaisical rhythm and its bobbing meter lulls the reader as if a trance, softening the edge of the message, lessening its impact; your eyes a rocking leaf casually falling side to side down the page, slipping asleep in the metaphorical hammock. This is in part do to the complement of the flow and the soft phonetics you employ. With that said, and in that regard, I recommend looking at the last two lines again. "We here on Earth must therefore" is a gummy line and, by the end of it, it feels like I am vehemently chewing through the fifth bite of my peanut butter sandwich without any milk. Just kidding. But I do think that needs to be rephrased, and seeing how that line sets up the closer, I recommend making it a shorter one as well, which creates a momentum. Something as simple as taking out "must therefore" would work; those are basically fillers/dead words anyway.

Anywho, thank you for sharing your literary purgatory! Keep writing! I look forward to reading more!

[emipoemi]

Thanks for your comments suggestions. I will definitely take them into account and will attempt to reshape that line (which due to the musicality and rhythm of the piece needs those extra syllables, otherwise, at least to my ear, it sounds a bit wonky....like something indeed is missing). But I would definitely take a stab at an emendation for this poem. Glad you enjoyed it!! And go ahead and read more at your leisure. All my poems are there to be read and enjoyed.

[Kibbles and Quips]

Sounds great! I'll do just that.

And, I usually say this (but forgot to add it at the end), I only offer what I said purely as a workshop. You're the one with the vision in your mind; I cannot see it. I merely am offering another way at looking at it.

[emipoemi]

Hey, that's what I do too. No sweat. I take very kindly to such comments and suggestions. For I give them too.