Burnt Macaroni and Cheese

What is so appealing about burnt stuff? I thought as I left the lunch queue. And cheese? Ugh... How could anyone eat this stuff? I chucked it in the bin on my way out of the main doors. I always leave school at lunch time... The staff are used to it now. I go to Queen Elizabeth Grimmer School in West London. It's very fancy. We don't wear uniforms. All the kids who're in the orphanage go there, because it has a Primary and a nursery as well. “Hey, Bella! " . Oh God no, I thought. Lily Wilkinson. Lily was the most popular girl in school, Ellie George's top girl. Or rather, her slave. Lily tried to be cool; wearing sailor bikini's to pool parties, and satin minis out in town. Today she was wearing a ruffled green skirt and a blue tank top (or "aqua”, as she calls it). She had her fine, curly black hair in a quiff, and was carrying some invitations. “Lily, before you say anything, I just want you to know that going to Ellie's party would be about as bad as dying and going to a hell dimension in which I lived with One Direction " I said before she handed me my invite. " And don't call me Bella “I said just as I was walking out of the door.

 

Really, it's against the rules to leave school without telling anyone. But I do it all the time. In fact, I think the teachers would be more surprised if I actually came to afternoon lessons. But that particular day was a special day. It was the eighth anniversary of my parents’ deaths. I was going to go to the house. Not in it, or anything, but I'd just stand by the lamppost.

 

I started walking down the road, and passed a few people on the way. There was Flossie, a sensitive girl who was also in the orphanage. She had deep set almost purple eyes and thick, straight, brown eyes. Then there was Damien- again, from the orphanage, who had narrow eyes the colour of milk chocolate and fine, straight, white hair. As I got closer to the house, I got closer to the orphanage, which meant that I saw more and more kids that I knew. I saw Jake- obnoxious and cunning, with orange eyes and luxurious, straight, coffee coloured, neck- length hair. And just as I turned the corner, I saw Russell, a mysterious boy with jade eyes and fine, straight, charcoal coloured hair, being beaten up by the local bullies. “Hey!” I shouted, and they looked up. They took one three second look at me and turned the other way. Watching them run away made me smile, but I stopped when I saw the burnt remains of house.

Author's Note

* Note that I've changed some names- Damien is Torr and Russel is Callum.
I'm completly re- writing this... I didn't really like the story before.
* Also note that you will at some point in the book, you will actually understand the tile( possibly in the next chapter)

Reviews

[Tai Ryens]

The general structure of the chapter confuses me; as you need to space out the sentences more. Breaking it off into three separate sections is fine; just start a new line or something before any notable shift in topic.

[Taylor H.]

I agree with Matty lol :) I just think your spacing needs some fixing. Its a bit intimidating to see one big block of text that you have to read. Break it up a bit. Great chapter

[emilythestrange]

Thank you and I will fix that......I always forget about paragraphs....

[Taylor H.]

haha its ok :)

[emilythestrange]

:)

[Matty Bosox]

Well Emily what can I say....Its great and refreshing like a summer rain to see one of your light hearted and very odd writes...You are so brilliant when it comes to naming, wording, and all around writing in such a fresh and strange LoL way...Burnt Macaroni and Cheese is great and I am glad to read another great write from you Emily....I also love your very descriptive skills when it comes to talking about your characters...I will be reading the next chapter!! :o) good job Emily

[emilythestrange]

Thanks.... And also I thank you for the support you have showed for my writing in all the time I've been on here :)