Perpetual Emotion

Things aren't always what they look like. Sometimes a mistake could be fatal...

The lights flashed around me and I could feel the booming of the bass deep within my heart. I laughed as my best friend grabbed my hand and together we shimmied to the beat of the music. As the sound faded to make room for the next track, I signalled a time out and moved to the edge of the room, trying to catch my breath. Out of the crush of people I could breathe a bit better and started to take in my surroundings. House parties were always a hit with my friends and so a big cheer went up for David when he announced that he was throwing one to celebrate our results and say goodbye before people went their separate ways for university or new jobs. I caught David’s eye as he started to make a conga line round the downstairs of his house and smiled, I would be staying out of that one tonight. For I was one of two people not drinking. The other half to this pair, and my reason not to, stood on the other side of the room, watching the drunken teenagers dance around the living room with a half amused, half wistful expression on my face. As if he could feel my eyes on him, he looked up and grinned and I was thankful that the heat had subsided and I didn’t blush profusely. It’s not that I don’t drink, if it had been any other night I would have been at the head of that conga line and be suffering for at least two days to come. But tonight was different. After a summer of realising what, and who, I wanted, I was too close to lose it. Gathering my courage, I started my way across to the room to where Michael stood.

I had known Michael for two years through mutual friends and although I had an instant attraction for him, I realised early on that our friendship was too precious to ruin. So as the months went on, we had got closer, comparing failed relationships and being there for each when things went wrong. It was always Michael who I would pick up the phone to call first and many an evening was sat round his watching his latest DVD he had bought. I was in love with him, and although I had been denying it for so long, the thought of going to university and being apart from him had made me realise that I wanted more from our relationship. The only problem was I didn’t know if he felt the same way, he would always hold my hand during a film and would often surprise me by hugging me and kissing the top of my head when I was down, but was this just his way of expressing affection for his best friend? I was soon to find out.

I squeezed in-between a couple of friends and narrowly dodged their spilling drinks, laughing when I helped Courtney stand back up again. As I reached Michael, he held out his hand and I grasped it gratefully, letting him pull me away from the now jumping mass of people.
“Want to get out of here?” he whispered into my ear and I nodded, making sure I had my phone on me in case I was needed. We stepped through the front door out into the cold air and I involuntarily shivered, it was colder than I anticipated for August. He shrugged his way out of his jacket and I gratefully wrapped it round me. He led me to the bench in David’s garden and cuddled me against him. As he rested his head on mine, I could feel my heartbeat increase erratically as I breathed in his familiar smell and tried to find the right words to say. But before I could open my mouth he beat me to it.
“So why aren’t you drinking tonight, Georgie?” I smiled into his chest, the same I did every time he used his pet name for me.
“Didn’t really feel like it, wanted to know what it felt like to be you,” I teased and I could feel the rumble in his chest as he laughed. Before I knew it, he had sat me up and his face was close to mine, staring intently into my eyes.
“Seriously?” he murmured and I lost control of my voice. He was so close, I could just lean forward and…
Beep beep.
I sighed as Michael pulled away and I grabbed my phone from my pocket, muttering under my breath. But I stopped as soon as I saw the text and its sender. Nick.
“I know you’re at David’s. Meet me at the corner in 5.”

I took Michael’s jacket off and thrust it at him before running through the gate and into the street, only faintly aware of my name being called behind me. I turned my phone off as I slowed to a walk and tried to catch my breath. The street was darker than I realised and I glanced about in apprehension, but before too soon I could see a familiar figure standing under a streetlight on the corner ahead of me. Nick grinned as I approached and I noticed a nearly empty beer bottle in his hand.
“You alright beautiful, long time no see!” he slurred at me, grabbing me in a hug that was too tight to escape from.
“Anyone would think you were avoiding me,” he hissed in my ear before pushing me away and downing the rest of his drink, letting the bottle slip from his fingers and smashing on the pavement.
“What do you want Nick?” I asked, rubbing my arms, wishing I still had Michael’s jacket to keep me warm. Nick’s eyes narrowed and before I could react he grabbed my arm and pushed me up against the brick wall, my head slamming against the slabs and a cry escaping from my lips. I could smell the alcohol on his breath and I tried not to screw my face up in disgust as he tried to kiss me. I could feel his frustration as his lips met my stone ones and I started to realise what a mistake I had made. I had tried to diffuse the situation by meeting him away from my friends and Michael but instead I had walked straight into danger…

When I first met Nick several months ago, he was meant merely as a distraction. Introduced through a friend, we instantly hit it off although his charm and charisma was more appealing than his looks. Within a mere couple of weeks we were a full blown couple and although I knew it wasn’t love, it would do for now. Michael took an instant dislike to Nick and I took it as jealously, ignoring his warnings that Nick was dangerous. After regrettably losing my first time to him, Nick became increasingly controlling and I lost contact with my friends and was unable to leave the house unless it was to go to work or see him. My parents became worried but I was too scared of Nick to walk away and so pushed them away as well. I was supposed to be celebrating the end of my exams and looking forward to a new start at university but instead I was stuck in a rut with a gradually more obsessive boyfriend. I walked away the first and last time he hit me. I hadn’t seen or heard from him in a month, that is until I received the text.

Nick tried once more to kiss me, one hand tugging at the waistband of my skirt as the other struggled with the zip on his trousers. Fear flooded me as I tried to push him away but he was too strong. Realising I wasn’t going to kiss him back; he covered my mouth with his hand and buried his head in my neck while trying to push himself up against me. I could feel bile rising in my throat and I closed my eyes, hoping it would be over soon. But deep within me I felt this rage building and I realised that I wasn’t going to be pushed around by him any longer. With all my strength I pushed against him and as he staggered back I prepared to run. But he was too fast. He grabbed my foot and I was falling, the pavement rushing up to meet me. I felt a sharp pain in my stomach and as I pulled my hand away, I realised it was covered in blood. I had fallen onto the top of Nick’s beer bottle and my stomach had ripped open, blood flowing freely down the concrete and staining my top. Nick looked at me through bleary eyes and it was only when he acknowledged the fact that I was bleeding did he turn and run. I closed my eyes and let the pain overwhelm me as I rested my head on the pavement.

I don’t know how much time had passed before I staggered back in the direction of David’s house. My phone was in my skirt pocket but I didn’t have the strength to turn it on, it was taking all of my energy to just walk. As I reached his front door, I let myself quietly in and hoped the blacked out lights would hide the blood that covered the front of me. Praying no-one would see me, I made my way upstairs as quickly as I could and went straight to the small bathroom that led off from David’s room. It was only in the harsh light did I realise how awful I looked, blood stained the front of me, my face was white and mascara was streaked down my cheeks. I heard the door open behind me and I spun round in panic, thinking the worse and that Nick had followed me. David stood in the doorway, his eyes wide as he noticed me standing there.
“Jesus Christ Georgina, what happened?” David said, making his way over to me. As soon as he reached me, I broke down in tears and he gently carried me to his bed, careful not to touch my stomach. Considering that he had had a couple too many to drink, he was very gentle as he wet a flannel and cleaned my face.
“You’re going to have to take your top off so I can see the wound,” David muttered, embarrassed. Slowly and gingerly I eased it off and willed myself not to look at the congealing mass of blood still oozing from my stomach. David disappeared for a couple of minutes but came back with fresh towels, a bowl of water and a wad of dressing and bandages.
“I’ll do the best that I can,” he said as he started to carefully clean the wound, turning the water red as he rinsed, “but you’re going to have to go to the hospital, this is really serious.”
I didn’t say anything, just lay there quietly as he finished up and pressed the dressing onto me.
“You’re going to have to stand up so I can put the bandage on,” David said, helping me sit up and rest uneasily on my feet. He quickly and tightly wrapped the bandage around my stomach but we could already see the blood starting to stain through.
“You can’t walk around like that,” David joked and pulled out a shirt from his wardrobe. I pulled my arms through the sleeves and did up the buttons, making sure that I was at least decent for the journey to the hospital ahead.
“Thank you,” I whispered, surprised at how weak my voice was. David half smiled at me and hugged me as carefully as he could.
“I’ll go and get you some water, and then we’ll call an ambulance okay.” He kissed me on the forehead and collected all of the bloodied towels before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. I started to feel light headed and realised that I’d need that water quicker than he could get to me so I made my way across the room and opened the door. To find Michael standing there with an anguished look on his face as he took in me wearing David’s shirt leaving his room.

Shock turned to anger extremely quickly.
“Where the hell have you been Georgina?” he snarled, the lack of my nickname made me realise just how serious the situation was.
“It’s not what it looks like,” I whispered, leaning against the doorway for support.
David bounded up the stairs with a glass of water his hand but stopped when he saw the two of us.
“Oh hey Michael, I was just coming to find you…” David said uncertainly, looking between us. Michael’s eyes narrowed as he glared at David.
“Whatever you two have been doing, I hope you’re both happy.”
I flinched as he turned and glared at me, gone was the Michael that I knew and loved. Pure hatred had contorted his features and I started to shake.
“As for you, I was going to tell you tonight that I loved you. But I guess some people can’t help but sleep around,” he whispered, pain flitting across his face for a second before it hardened again and he shoved past David and ran down the stairs. Shock held me for an instant before I ran after him. Pain was telling me to stop and I could hear David behind me telling me to take it easy but all I knew was that I had to tell Michael the truth.

I caught up with him just as he was about to leave. With the last of my strength I grabbed his shoulder, span him round and ripped open my shirt to reveal the bandage that was now all red. Michael’s mouth fell open.
“The text message I got was from Nick,” I explained quickly and quietly, knowing I was on the verge of blacking out. “I went to meet him because I didn’t want him getting in a fight with anyone. He was only after one thing but when I pushed him away I fell over onto some glass. I didn’t want to worry anyone so I went straight to David’s room to clean up and he found me.”
Michael reached towards me, desperation on his face as he realised the consequence of what he had said.
“You automatically thought that I had slept with David?” I said stepping away from him as a tear slid down my face. “Why would I do that when it’s you that I love?”
Hope lit up Michael’s face as he put out his hand to grab mine but it was too late. I turned away from him, my heart breaking as I realised that I could never be with him if that’s what he thought of me. But as I turned, everything went black and once again I felt the floor rushing up to meet me. I could hear voices around me, a blur of sound that I couldn’t quite make sense of. It was so comfortable in the darkness.

“Oh god, is she okay?”
“She’s lost a lot of blood; we need to call an ambulance now!”
“Somebody call 911!”
“What happened?”
“An ambulance is on their way…”
“Michael, can you feel a heartbeat?”
“Georgina, baby? Don’t go sweetheart; just hold on a little longer…”
“I think we’re losing her!”


“Georgina?”