Jamais

This is for Hayden, my love. Taylor, my best friend. And Benjamin, my brother. I'm pretty sure you guys can figure this one out. In words it's so much different than in actuality.

Faded lipstick smiles, in photographs unseen

Cold, abandoned spirits, trapped in worlds between

Her silent whispers echo, as she dances with the trees

Sunshine moves across her face, memories crushed with autumn leaves

In a circle we sit, under her time spell

In my heart I rewrite the story, that she longs for me to tell

Forever I will sing her song, of wildflowers and crecent moons

Sunset falls upon us, in a splash of deep maroons

Now shadows of the present, prance in black cloaked dreams

I laugh a sweet goodbye, as we float home in moonlit beams

 

Reviews

[KL]

You have some amazing imagery here, but it seems like the poem is unfinished, like there is still something left to be said (the ending line doesn't scream finality) - or maybe that's just me wanting more haha. The second half of the poem gets a little bumpy in regards to meter, but other than that this is an enchanting write. Nicely done.

[KatiePie]

Wow, this entire piece is bleeding with passion, and its gorgeous that way. I love the flow of it. Such a romantic poem with imagery so mind boggling it takes the reader out of this world and to some where peaceful, a place of love. Great write. :)
-Cathrine

[Robyn]

lovely imagery

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Forever I will sing her song, of wildflowers and crecent moons

absolutely love that line and the poem as a whole is very intriguing, it speaks to me of the mysteries of the world where souls know one another before ever meeting.

[Ruth]

I love the elegant manner of this, the warmth, the delicate feeling of such devotion!
A moment of beauty, always remembered!
This is beautiful love!
xx

[Elwina]

Lovely imagery ! I love the atmosphere of the forest and the moon that this read provides.

[trish420]

Beautiful! I esp. loved : In a circle we sit, under her time spell

[Aven]

I loved "In my heart I rewrite the story, that she longs for me to tell" it really speaks to me.

[Charles]

You do use some vivid images here in lines that seem loosely woven into a poem. Overall, I am left with the impression of a close knit group captured by a photograph in a whimsical setting. Nice work.

[Norma M Sutton]

Very nice.

[luciddreamer]

I really loved the imagery this one projected :)
Peace
Robin