Serotonin

I want to take tar baths

In the pools beneath my eyelids

F*****g black holes

That tell the story

Of how I didn’t sleep last night

Or the night before that

 

I’ve never really lusted after friends

But there’s this one girl I’ve been dying to know

 

Sara Tonin

Reviews

[emmajoygreen]

Start to finish you gave what you have by th score: truth and nothing but..
Somehow amid the dark is a light, dry sense of humour and a brain that rules in spite of your past. I read bios too - more so the courageous
ones

'I want to take tar baths
In the pools beneath my eyelids.. '

Never lose yourself, emily joe, you are without doubt - unique.
Take care, keep safe.

[Chris]

you gave your voice to a symptom I can only imagine... and a dream I can only wish you achieve...

[PoeticSorcery]

I hate not getting enough sleep as well, you're not really you in that situation. hopefully Sara notices you :)

[Tracie D'Angelo]

Nice job! I love the imagery of the tar and an overall feeling of the sluggishness and frustration that comes with continual lack of sleep.

[Richard]

God, I love poems where people just want things :)
this is great too

[Border]

beautiful psychological poem. serotonin is a neurotransmitter released by the brain. lack of serotonin causes depression and many antidepressants increase availability of this chemical in the brain. endorphin is also a chemical that makes a person feel good.
the quest for this neurotransmitter in this poem in unique and never before an poetess has given this twist for the pursuit of happiness.
no lover can increase level of serotonin. happiness in within an individual and not outside. an unhappy person will continue to crib in the best of situations and a happy individual will remain happy even in inclement conditions.
nice writing

keep it up

sometimes read my articles also.

[Devons]

I'd heard of this drug before but I wasn't familiar with it (lucky I guess) - even so, it seems pretty clear what it means in the context of this poem, even to the ignorant, I think.
Although it concerns mental instability to an extent, there is a cool, kind of hip sharpness to the style of this piece. That - and the sense of humour - contrasts with the seriousness that lies beneath, creating a fine effective balance. The kind of blank horror which comes through from the very beginning really magnetises the reader. Good stuff (though perhaps nothing could be as persuasive as the narcotic it describes ;)).

[E.L. Debbage]

Wow. What a brilliant write. I too had to leave my college due to mental illness. I've also had many sleepless nights in the year, covering it with mounds off concealer and coffee, haha! I just love how you've turned an anti depressant into a name as if its a friend, which I suppose is very true!!

[Kerberos]

This is so sharp. Erratic and interesting. I want more

[The Twin Arenas]

Yeah, you nailed it. you gotta piece you can edit up. nice one.