Odyssey

The first light of day
The first breeze of morning
Lift you off your calloused feet
And carry you toward me

As if you're floating on air

But you're not here, you shall be here soon

Because I am missing you dearly.

I stand on jagged cliffs...waiting...
My outstretched arms
and a chorus of gentle waves
are anxious to welcome you home

I began to worry that you will never

Show

Because my hands are getting tried

My heart is getting cold

Where is the sun 

that warms my frigid heart? 

I see him at last, 

his face blurred in the distance. 

It's looks as if you've been in a battle

I can just see the war in your eyes

But I need you here by my side

No where else, just here in my eyes

third place

May 25, 2015

• Just for fun
• Odyssey

Author's Note

I wrote this poem with Elisa in the group 'Pairing Up Poetry'. The Italic stanza's are hers.

Link to Elisa's profile:
http://www.writerscafe.org/PhantomAngel147

Reviews

[Nyu]

"Where is the sun that warms my frigid heart? I see him at last, his face blurred in the distance."
Although I highlighted this section, really every line is great.
There was a certain depth to this piece that was very enjoyable.
The objects and feeling of the character are seamlessly woven together.
I loved it, great work :)

[Emily]

Thank you!

[Ana B.]

This is stunning, a trully gorgeous piece. Wonderful work you guys!

[Emily]

Thanks Ana!

[hardeep sabharwal]

Very well written, a nice collaboration, I enjoyed this piece

[Emily]

Thank you!

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

Again, another very powerful collaborative work. You girls complemented each other with every stanza so beautifully and flawlessly...like only one voice spoke, like only one ink pen has been used for this.

[Emily]

Thanks Nadia!!

[AaronFreitas]

That is a beautiful combination of two awesome writers! Good work my friend I really enjoyed it :)

[Emily]

Thanks Aaron!

[Nikolean]

The collaboration results in beautiful imagery, you both did really well!

[Emily]

Thank you!

[Nikolean]

You're very welcome!

[CA Anurag Sharma]

A very good write.... enjoyed it

[Emily]

Thanks Anurag

[Ilerah]

Nice, both of you are very good writers. Better than me, at least I think so.

[Emily]

Thank you!

[Ilerah]

welcome, glad to help

[ANTO]

Both of you shine here in this collaboration.

"a chorus of gentle waves
are anxious to welcome you home" - this is sublime writing. The imagery is top-notch

The final stanza is a bit paradoxical but open to interpretation obviously - however it has the killer line (as you used in the tag line) "I can just see the war in your eyes".

You really played off each others strengths here and excelled. More power to your pens, both of you.
:))

[Emily]

Thanks Anto!!

[ANTO]

your both very welcome - good collab guys !
:)