What is not

The whistling in the trees,

You never hear a lot.

But when the whistling stops,

You hear what now, is not.

 

The absence of a presence,

Maybe someone you hold dear,

You never feel them when they are close,

Only when they are not near.

 

Stepping into a house,

You see a closed window from afar.

You wouldn't really notice it,

Only if it was ajar.

 

So what does that mean,

For people who really care.

Is there something in their life,

That really isn't there.

Reviews

[Green]

I liked what you were saying with this. It is true that we never notice things until they're gone and sometimes that's the hardest thing to deal with.
My only complaint was in the one about the window:
"Stepping into a house
You see a closed window from afar
You wouldn't really notice it
Only if it was ajar"
It doesn't keep the flow here at the end. I would suggest something like: If it was just ajar instead of only if it was ajar but that's just my opinion. Overall very good :)

[Shaylynn H.]

To make this easier I'm going to review based on this outline.

General flow: Flows nicely, no complaints here.

Formatting: "Butwhen the whistling stops," Spacing issue on this line.

Spelling/Grammar: Nothing I saw out of the blue.

Emotion it brought out: Nothing really for me.

Concerns: No concerns.

Additional comments: Well written.


Any one can feel free to add me and request reviews/reads. I review all pieces that I'm asked to in the most constructive manner that I can.