Too Old to Call you Daddy Now�Just Old Enough to Really Know You

not the whole story but just enough of a hint

 

Too Old to Call you Daddy Now…Just Old Enough to Really Know You

 

So you made up your mind quiet long ago is that it?

Choose the car instead of your kids

 

Visits to your house as said by the court

Spent with the other woman

While you stay locked in the bathroom

Doing god knows what

Not even he would want to know

 

Three daughters left abandoned

No dad

Though you’re near

They never had you

 

Not the picture perfect dad

Not in many ways

Still they felt the need for you

Wanted your pitiful approval

 

Make daddy proud

That’s right daddy pick your favorites

You always have

 

Not Reggie she too old and knows how you are

Knows your ways of disappointing

Not little Lisa bless her little heart she knows nothing of the truth yet still she cries and for that you hate her…a cry baby you said

Zaddie, yes Zaddie she good she pretends nothings wrong she’s nice and tough but on the inside…it’s rough

 

Had some more and you tried to love them right  

Pushed away your others till they were out of sight

 

First bred

No longer needed

No longer loved

 

You hear news

Fear for the worse

Enter the place no one wishes to

Not when it’s about their kid

 The ER

 

But don’t worry

Don’t rush

When you get there it won’t be one of the kids you hold so dear

It’s just two of the unwanted few

 

“Oh, I thought it was Haylee.”

 

Oh daddy what about your other kids

My sisters

The ones lying in the hospital bed

 

Later on you enter our lives yet again

“He’s trying, be nice to him”

Our grandpa says

Grandpa’s always right

 

So I let you in at least one more time

After all you are my dad

Responsibilities not included

 

I wait and wait

You’re coming for my birthday

A day

 You, me and your new girlfriend Debbie

Oh joy…Awkward

But it’s ok because you don’t even show

Saved me from the silence

 

Another birthday another approach

My turn dad

Because although you pushed us away

Although you were never really there

A part of me could never hate you

It’s your title I guess

Respectfully

I love you…even though it hurts

Even though I could never tell you

The truth

 

Author's Note

this is purely for me if you happen to read it well...uh it's not edited

Reviews

[Legion]

Such sadness. I feel for you. I have lived something similiar but concerning a mother that was never there. Kudos. Hope this helps you.

[[untitled]]

Many times a poet needs to write their innermost, deepest and darkest feelings, as a way of putting them to rest. I know this all too well. Writing for yourself is first and foremost. Editing, may or may not happen. But, as I read this, I know that it comes straight from your heart, and to me, this is wonderful.

A tragic story, my friend. So tragic. And, yet, the biggest loser is the father, whether or not he realizes it right now, sooner or later, he will. Unfortunately, when that time comes, it's usually too late, as deep resentments and pain have cast its final, ugly blow to those who loved him the most.

To learn from a parent's mistakes, and not repeat them . . . to end the vicious cycle is the only and best thing that we can do.

I applaud your bravery and encourage you to keep writing . . .

You have a precious gift that no one can take away.

[unspokenguilt]

its sad but true and he screwed up with his other family too.

[Steve Thompson]

interesting write....

[Nik Dendera]

This connects with me on more than just the obvious level.

I'm the youngest of my dad's kids. He was never around when I was growing up and told me and my older siblings on his wedding day to my stepmother that we were no longer part of his life. I look at it as his loss; I'm now 24 and he's missed out.

But I loved this and I know how tough it is to go through it. The name you use is another personal connection but I don't feel comfortable putting it in this review, hope you don't mind.

Beautiful piece. Don't ever edit this, keep it as raw as it is.

[1809 Black Plague Decem..]

I agree with Quiet poet, :)
---mishel

[QuietPoet]

This was a sad write. and I am sorry that your dad is not around as much as he should be.. It was a great write.. Just wish you didnt have to write it...