Fools

Have you forgotten all the promises

That are rotting In the mess of this

And changing under the pressure

And melting in the stress you're giving

 

And you seem to regret the distress you  gave

Now that you the see the mess you made

But don't worry it's not the end

We'll be friends, but not today

 

Can you see the change from the path we took

And that crafty thing called the underhook

That hooked me to the ship of strains

And all I see is falling rain

 

That's how we're living now, like fools

Cause reincarnation has its rules

We could have been friends forever

Or more if I you hadn't made it Never'

 

And we can live forever and ever

If we play the part we shouldn't

Because only the good die young

We'd be dead if we'd been prudent

 

But dead is how we're living now

Missing with no words to speak

Won't you let ends rest in peace

And stop being so damn angry with me

 

That's how we're living now, like fools

Cause reincarnation has its rules

We could have been friends forever

Or more if I you hadn't made it Never

 

So that's how we will live

Like fools

So we can live forever

Cause only the good die young

When we follow the rules

Reviews

[Worms]

very nice
all I can say is that I am getting a beautiful undertone of anger and suffering
very nice work in pulling the poem together

[Mo'Kha]

I have always been terrible at trying to decipher poetry probably because I realize there are always layers...I enjoyed this piece and the refrain
"We could have been friends forever
Or more if I you hadn't made it Never"
Life after all is about the choices we make.
blessings,
~M

[JC]

I have to agree with Manifesto, this is definitely work to be proud of.
Having thought it over, I may get back into writing after all. After reading this, I decided that poetry might be a healthy way to get started again.
Thanks for the inspiration.

[Deepshikha]

Bhavana, the super songwriting cardiac surgeon! XD
Nicely written as always, but you've definitely done a similar premise before. But have you thought to put music to it?

[Nish Nish the Fish]

This is great because it leaves me wondering..what could have inspired this? (and please do tell me..if you don't mind sharing)
I envy the voice you're able to install in your writing, its powerful, and demands attention, alot of life changing experiences bring about great amounts of thought, and it sure seems like your lifes changed in someway or another, i'd love to know..please enlighten me!
a job very well done!
Nisha

[gimpy]

I love this poem rely great I love the rhymes it's rely deep I love it soo much my fav lines are Cause only the good die young

When we follow the rules rely great B...that your knew nickname lol

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This is some heavy thought. I thought it was cool how you took traditional and modern themes and created this interesting juxtaposed poem. I saw many beautiful surrealistic images. I didnt really feel any closure in the end. I think it left a bitter aftertaste of the dream that was denied. That was the icing on the cake. I drove everything home.
It was perfect for the theme.

You really went teknikal on this poem. I think the imagery combined with your candid speaking style has opened a new door to your writing. You seem to have experienced some personal growth. You are talented, but you definitely stepped it up. This is work you should be proud of.