Like the Light

 It's like a nymph racing through the shadows
It's pristine and clear but appears white
It's a valiant warrior fighting off the dark
But hark! Honestly, It's just the Light  

 

It's majestic and free like a galloping stallion

Taking to the dragon, a chivalrous knight

It's carefree and relaxed like an intoxicating scent

But alas, really, it's just the Light

 

It rises to defend a child, fearful of the night

Epics galore, satanic folklore frightens it not

Through rain and sleet and snow and shine

It's warm, caressing touch won't soon be forgot

 

It guides us to victory, but doom just the same

Pulls off ambiguity and reveals true Sight

Balancing the roles of hero and villain alike

Nonetheless, truly, it's only the Light

 

It's the most humble of kings, intrepid and true

But leaves shadows behind to impale a fright

Both holy and sinful, so wistfully mixed

How is it we fuss over such a simple thing

Because, we can all be like the Light

We just haven't reached that height

Reviews

[Clockwork]

You are able to create very deep and vivid images in this piece. I like how you use those images right from the start to catch the attention of the reader. Furthermore the way you were able to mix your images with more concrete ideas, especially in stanza one, was well done. My favorite lines are line one of stanza two, and line two of stanza three. In line one of stanza two I liked your alliteration especially. In line two of stanza three I especially enjoyed the alliteration and rhyme you employed.

For the things that can be improved: I think that you could add a little more punctuation all around. It will help control the overall flow and direction of the piece. It is something that I had to play with when I first stared out. I would also take a look at line four of stanza two and the use of the word alas. It plants the though of light being somewhat of a bad omen, or dreaded variable. I think that is leads away from the main message of your lines as a whole.

Overall this is a very nice piece, and I really enjoyed it. I hope to read more from you in the future.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Very intriguing and creative piece of poetry... I see it as really how there can be a fine line between right and wrong... weather I am right or wrong it is still a magnificent write.

[Justin Blackmon]

Wow. You took my advice. I like it even more now. Good write.

[Justin Blackmon]

I'd change scares in the third stanza to frightens. Makes it flow better i think. Just a suggestion. I did enjoy the read though.

[Andrew (not Andy, A.J. ..]

This was great! Too many things now about loving the darkness and being 'bad' because it used to be good was cool so bad had to be cool after that. I've always liked good better :D
Very nice. I have no criticisms at all.

Best Wishes and Regards and Sincerity and All Due Respect and All That Stuff,
--Andrew

[JordanAnthony]

Wow, I can't believe you haven't gotten feedback on this poem, yet.
My mouth actually dropped a little when reading this, great job.
I love, love, love the amount of detail, and the intellectual words you use when writing, amazing job.