The healer and the three moons

The only romance I got in a writing by now. Really not my type of writing.

There was once a man - a healer,
known for adoring the vast night sky
richly studded with
glittering constellations.

But one beauty conquered all
painted by the dark nocturne -
alone, the very silver moon.

Nevertheless,
his life was somehow incomplete,
like a puzzle - lacking pieces.

But all was twisted in a single night,
as whispers fondled his long ears.
"A song of nightingale", he thought,
"Sweet, enchanting and so calm".

Like a magnet, he was pulled
by this gravity so strong,
irresistible and pure,
an urge was tickling his soul.

He rushed into the oldest woods -
a place where no one ever wanders
As he approached into the depths,
his heartbeat fastened, went insane.

On bed of autumn leaves, unconscious,
shivering, in lancinating pain,
she was not a bird, but maid,
suffering from deadly illness.

Dreams and imaginations wild
overflowed reality,
tears filled his diamond eyes
as he saw her body lying.

He ran his fingers through her hair,
her eyes - closed,
yet she was so gorgeous,
placed his warm hand on her forehead
and the illness was no more.

Her eyelids slowly opened wide,
triggering a sacred moment,
thus his puzzle was completed
as three moons rose throughout the night.

One was already above
the night sky, glowing in tranquility,
the other two woke up, so charming
there, within the maiden's eyes.

She moved her wine-red cotton lips
and kindly spoke to the healer:
"You saved my life. Can I repay you?"
He smiled, blushed and then replied:
"There is no need, for your existence
is my reward."

Author's Note

One of the few rhymeless writings I got.

Reviews

[Eric]

I found a few words and phrases that felt poetic and rich and meaningful but most of it just felt like throwing spit wads of words unrefined with suggestion but containing minimal actual meaning - (I apologize if an actual review is harsh - I was asked to give the review and I find nothing but positive reviews for everyone which I find useless).

[elvenom]

I don't find the review harsh at all. Actually i didn't expect any good review about this at all, because I never did a rhymeless piece before and it's hard for me to make a proper flow. The theme was romance in which I never wrote anything before and I suck at it. It was written for a contest. If all reviews were positive then it wouldn't be very realistic, so I'm glad you're speaking your mind and giving what you really think.

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

Brilliant write, I really liked this poem. :-)

Kaze~

[elvenom]

Thank you very very much. Glad you liked it.

[♔ CrownedDevil ☾]

Your very welcome, it was my pleasure. :-)

[1Disawsum]

wow, love this! Has a story told within a poem, don't often see it as much as hear/read it. That probably doesn't make sense, but oh well! I'm really bad a explaining how I feel and what I mean! Overall, I really enjoyed this poem, and the last line was definitely my favourite. "There is no need, for your existence is my reward." What a perfect end to a beautiful poem! Love it. xx

[elvenom]

Oh, that's so kind of you. Thank you so much. I'm flattered. Since you joined a writer community, you will soon realize that writing is the best way to express how you feel, just practice. Thank you again for the lovely review.

[A. Amos]

Great writing and the story telling within your poetry was mind blowing. Pure magic!

[elvenom]

Thank you very much! I'm honored to see that what I wish to achieve is successfully done - making the reader feel the story. It makes me really happy. Thank you, again.

[A. Amos]

You're most welcome my friend

[Coyote Poetry]

"He smiled, blushed and then replied:
"There is no need, for your existence
is my reward."
A perfect ending. You create a beautiful story for magic and healing. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry. A wise man appreciate true rewards. Helping another.
Coyote

[elvenom]

Thank you for the support, mate. Yes, entering this site I see that it is kinda build to make people help and each-other with such support and kindness. Glad you see the ending so well, because I was afraid it could be seen as some sort of cliche, and I don't like cliches.

[Coyote Poetry]

It was a good ending. You are welcome.

[Moonie]

One of the most beautiful poems I've ever read. Enchanting imagery and lovely wordings. It is so wonderfully sculpted that the verses seem to connect as gracefully as in a rhyming poem.

[elvenom]

I don't know how to express my gratitude. Your review is so nice that it feels like a small cute piece of a writing itself which makes me smile in joy. Thank you very much!

[Moonie]

You're welcome.