My Siren Song

see the note for reviewers before you read the poem (at the bottom)

     Come to me oh great leader Cole; for i withold a mighty palace, filled with glory and splendor. For in which you might find the simplest and most complex of your hearts desires. For it produces proper nourishment, education in desirable forms, and all of your wishes to be grantedto you as tangible things.

     No, mighty warrior, for you mustn't listen*. I hold your TRUE desire in my possession. Come to me, and i will allow you great battles, adventures, and journeys beyond your comprehension. I will provide you with proper equipment and effective knowledge of materials and factors needed on each journey. With me you will have what you truly want.

     No! For you cannot resist your nature loving history. It confides in you to come to me and enjoy the world of outdoor beauty, and the reality of the incredible things that nature has to offer. For you can come to explore new worlds! Environments of wonderful communities of unknown and undiscovered species. Come to me and you will find happiness.

      Oh dread Cole, for what reason do you not answer our individual pleas? As long as we wait for you to come the more and more we desire your intellect. Should you not take up on one of our offers, at least report with all three of us and together we can solve the dilemma of whom you wish to go with.

 

* my english teacher gave me an  A-  because i wrote "you mustn't listen," but sirens want you to listen to them. but i don't think she understood that the second siren was telling me not to listen to the first one.

Author's Note

i read the odyssey in my english class and those of you that are familiar with it know about the sirens that sing to Odysseus. So we were assigned to write what we would hear from the sirens. If you are not familiar with the story the sirens are known to lure people to their island with their song so they can eat you. their song is supposedly things that the sirens say that draw you to the island, rather than just being a very pretty or hypnotizing song that forcefully draws you to them.

Reviews

[Mary]

You teacher is slower then me 'cause i got it...
I loved it think it was wonderful!!! You deserved an A+ damnit!
Anywho, i loved it and think it sounded like you... but it wasn't... and i think only very talented people can do that ^^

[Lexy]

Actually, now that I read it like this, I don't know why, but I do see your teacher's point. It does sound that the siren is saying "don't listen, go away!" Maybe a little nicer, but I'm not known for being nice, am I?
My favorite is the second paragraph. "Journeys beyond your comprehension." That phrase strikes out to me because of the Journey/Quest Motif and I think it fits in well.
So, if I'm honest, she should've given you letter grades and should've given you something about 94.

[Kyle]

lolz, this siren song is outta site!!! which english teacher do u have? mine is making us create a pamphlet advertising the places that odysseus goes through out the poem... and kudos 2 ur choice of vocab and really advanced writing style, this definitly had 2 get an A+ .....lolz, keep up the good work