Manuscript On A Nightstand

A poet is awoken by the unsettling realization that he is not alone in his house. After hearing disturbing sounds coming from somewhere down the hall, he follows the trail of noise to a grim discovery

I was awoken in a cold sweat

Sleep fleeting with a new fret

As I heard the creaking floor

In the distance a slamming door

Arthritic bones popping like an overstretched band

As I leaned over to the nightstand 

I gathered my glasses and fixed them in place

From the other room; sounds of a breaking vase 

I picked up my robe and climbed out of bed

Suddenly blinded by a flash of red

Tiredness turned to energy; anger to fright

As I saw beneath the door a mysterious red light

Striding across the room I threw open the door

Immediately greeted by a path of gore

Dark red --- almost black --- grime caking the wood

I lost my voice; I would scream if I could

With my stomach turning, I followed the trail

Almost tripping over a handle the size of a nail

The trail ended here; this I could not ignore

When I suddenly made out the shape of a trapdoor

Taking a knee I fastened my grip

Along the metal so my hand wouldn't slip

The blood smelled of iron but was noticeably dry

As I opened the trapdoor to see beneath what would lie

I climbed down the ladder to a crawl space

Claustrophobia swelling as a draft hit my face

Squinting my eyes, I reached out my hand

Suddenly feeling the remains of a man

I was nearly blinded as the red light returned

The sight of his corpse! My stomach once more churned

When suddenly, my eyes met the source of the light

An expressionless creature whispered to me 'goodnight' 

It blew out the light; darkness encompassed me

As I desperately turned and attempted to flee

Tight claws wrapped around my kicking feet

The trapdoor slammed shut; making me it's next feast.

Author's Note

Was the AABB rhyme scheme a good choice for this poem? Do I accurately paint the grim setting within the first two stanzas?

Reviews

[Ariana Omnomnom]

I'm not great with "technical flow" with poetic grammar but I personally enjoyed the aabb format. The last stanza didn't flow so well as I read it but I'm also likely dyslexic and words move when I read so it might be my fault it didn't flow in my head. It definitely painted a picture for me, it was very good material for visualizing what was going on.

[ImSJ]

Not to put too fine a point on it but how did the he write this after he got himself eaten?

[Novel Minded_75]

I am not a poet, but I did enjoy the telling.
It was cinematic and horrifying.
Easy to picture in the mind and that's what I look for.
Great read!

[Bare trees]

I think you portrayed the horrifying event in good detail from the start.You might want to compress your sentences a bit making every word count. I noticed the syllable count changed after the first stanza.