The Enemy

This came to me while I was doing laundry. I think my muse likes to attack me at extremely random moments. Also, back to rhyme I go :P

Traitorous lips catch on thorns of a rose,

Misleading petals, crimson exposed.

Traitorous tongue twists into a snarl,

Cheek reflect mindset, unkempt morale.

Traitorous fingers reach out to collide,

Trembling and anxious, humanity hides.

Escape from the seed on wavering legs,

For the traitorous heart never ceases to beg.

Author's Note

Sometimes, I never know what I'm writing about until it's over. Often, those are my favourite forms of writing, the ones that surprise even the writer after the words reveal themselves.
I seem to like short pieces, I haven't written anything long in ages. Perhaps I'll expand on this, what do you think?
Also, I felt 'snarl' and 'morale' seemed a little weak. Any feedback would be wonderful, thank you :)

Reviews

[JC]

you can say a lot in these shorter poems and it gives the reader time to think, like a one two punch you hit us with some delectable verses to chew on here...i dig it.

[Aidz]

Just right in length...., like the imagry of the snarl, moral eyup with u on that, but very kewl scribe

[Anicca]

You dont need to expand on this, you wouldnt want it to lose any of its meaning and I think lengthening it could do just that. It worked beautifully as a short piece.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This is so intense. I love the way you created such
dramatic emotional content. Every word was the raw
unedited truth.

[arlery]

it's really good, deep, meaningful ...

[Steve]

I like that a person can take this write i a number of different ways. This has many real meanings. Nice!

[Adam :P]

powerful.

[OR]

"Sometimes, I never know what I'm writing about until it's over. " It happens to me too because mind can tell you things you didn't know you had
Nice piece!
Peace!

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

I liked it!! Very powerful the way it is! sometimes length does not matter!

[clemon73]

i think its great the way it is, great job