Well I’d rather have lust than this lie we call love
As I float here in the sky.
But I’m warning you now, if you catch me somehow,
My skin holds daggers, so don’t hold on tight.
I’m waiting for fiction, for someone to listen
So timeless and selfish and cold.
And no warmth to distinguish from a burn to relinquish,
But reality is overrated I’m told.
So you tell me what’s faker, the words or the maker?
Or perhaps my reciprocation of sound?
For there lies profanity, the bitter insanity,
Mounting mentally profound.
So what feeds this notion of a lack of devotion?
A crack beneath the glass mirror of soul.
And so miniscule, it squeezed right on through,
Seeping and taking its toll.
A deadliness injected which overrode and infected
The ability to stay on the earth.
Now it seems I’m too tired for the skill that requires
A bond that gives meaning and worth.
So here I lay floating, no more apt to loathing
No being other than self.
But the stars have stopped bleeding, and the clouds are receding,
So maybe I shall finally seek help.
I'm very honoured to say that this poem placed second in EverEmma's "Poetry Contest!!!" :)
http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Poetry-Contest!!!/11231/
My Review
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This is a splendid example of how powerful poetry can be. Even if I love almost all the lines churned so well into a poem, I will first single out the ones I loved the most.
"But I’m warning you now, if you catch me somehow,
My skin holds daggers, so don’t hold on tight. "... awesome lines.
"And no warmth to distinguish from a burn to relinquish,
But reality is overrated I’m told. "... speechless.
"So you tell me what’s faker, the words or the maker? "... awesome again.
I love the form of the poem. Though I feel, you might have missed it towards the start. However, I loved the line... "But I’m warning you now, if you catch me somehow, ".
All in all, a magnificent piece of work that forces one to think.
Will be watching you from now on.
this is passionate and powerful the stanzas worked well in form to draw emphasize on the flow, the wording is detailed enough to keep the
reader going from one to the next, this plays darkly mysterious, awsome job
Stanza 5 Line 1-A deadliness injected "which" overrode and infected
There are many people whom fear the closeness of a relationship and, rightly, they should. There are no guarantees and heartache can be around any turn that a relationship takes. I don't think there are any bad relationships, just people who can't seem to figure out how to make them work!
I enjoyed your poem and, at times, have experienced this feeling; however, I am dumb enough to keep trying it, again and again.
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