Flaws of Perfection

Perfection is a flaw.

A fragment of my memory,
A moment I shan’t forget.
As I gazed around for my companion
My sight caught him instead.

His golden locks of hair,
His silver-freckled eyes.
His svelte figure in the glow,
From dusty ballroom skies.

I had forgotten how to breathe,
as he glanced my direction.
Who could possibly tear their eyes away
From absolute perfection?

His voice was like the ocean,
His defiance, an enchantment.
He was everything I truly wanted,
With only him, I felt contentment.

I loved him like I’ve loved no other,
My love became an obsession.
He claimed the feelings were mutual,
and starved for my affection.

But how quickly he would change his mind,
 And run from me with childish rage.
Though he always found his way back to me,
To say he needed me, he’d stay.

Then when things turned for the worst,
When I needed him the most,
He stepped back from me and walked away,
With my heart and only hope.

I am speaking to you now,
My love, my beautiful in awe.
You will forever be my tainted angel,
For perfection was your flaw.

 

Reviews

[Corvus]

This is amazing. So heartfelt, and the rhymes are really well done. Great job. I can't wait to read more of your poetry! I especially loved these lines:

His golden locks of hair,
His silver-freckled eyes.
His svelte figure in the glow,
From dusty ballroom skies.

Then again, they were all amazing. By the way, I appreciate the critique on my work! Keep at your awesome poetry : - )

[Eiken]

Kira, this was a good read, nice rhyme and flow and the subject was great too. My favourite verse was the one Corvus chose. I love silver-freckled eyes and dusty ballroom skies. Wonderful:)

[Ashley]

this is so beautifully done. the shift at the end is seamless. so heartfelt and honest and painful. but that's pretty much what love comes down to. very well done.

[cleomaxtic]

this is so charming

[Snow412]

Interesting sentiments in this piece. I see you take your writing very seriously as it seems to be an extension of who you are. Often times, people do not want to deal with negativity and attempt to put distance between themselves as well as the point of contention. As you stated "childish rage"--this is accurate for those that cannot seem to handle a serious relationship.

You wrapped the poem up very well. Quite an enjoyable read. :D

[Nat]

This poem took my breath away. o:

His golden locks of hair,
His silver-freckled eyes.
His svelte figure in the glow,
From dusty ballroom skies.

This part is my favorite as well.

[Daydreamer54]

wow, wonderf ul write! U also had a great flow and rhyme scheme here! great job with this! :)

[Saurin Corvinus]

That was a very graceful poem i could see the ballroom and the heartache

[Raccoony]

What a wonderful love/story/poem! I felt like I was thrown into the past and into one of Jane Austen's books! ^_^ The last few lines - "you will forever be my tainted angel- For perfection was your flaw", just made me giddy for some reason.

[An owl on the moon]

There is such a sense of that breathtaking feeling one often gets in the presence of the one they desire... and then those experiences that reveal something more deeper in. Powerfully visually and emotionally.