Today is not the day.

This is a poem I wrote before I went to school one day. It's basically about anxiety and what it's like ( for me ) to be socially anxious . Although I think other people could relate to this.

today is not the day
that I want to feel this way
I don't want to cry
and I don't want to panic
I want to live life
without ever feeling anxious
maybe just today
things could be different
I won't have to see
all of the things I've written
my broken thoughts
and shattered feelings
all on paper
the ink is spilling
but not today
I won't write
I will be calm
No fear. No fright.
I will not feel that way
today is not the day.

Author's Note

I have shared this poem to other websites and uploaded it to my blog sometime ago. I never got any critiques or feedback and I would like to because I feel like this is the best thing I've written in a while.

Reviews

[S. B. Fosy]

Social anxiety and depression are oftentimes crushing. Indeed, they can seem like weight on the shoulders that you're stuck with for life. Many of us deal with them in our own ways and to varying degrees, but putting them to paper is one of my favorite ways to "relieve the tension". I hope you might find a kernel of useful feedback here. Thoughts:

The statement in the first two lines doesn't match the viewpoint of a socially anxious person as far as I can tell. There is no day that someone wants to feel such a thing. Distinguishing "today" implies that it is different from a norm where there are indeed days where such a feeling is wanted. The narrator seems to have reached a point of "giving in" to their anxiety, where blindly hoping for change is the only option left. That's fine. The greater emotional connection from a reader (like me) that can relate to the subject matter in this poem is there, but the wording could use a little more in-depth details/adjectives to really crank up the emotional investment of said audience.

This - "I won't have to see all of the things I've written..." - struck me an odd line for a seemingly introspective poet to put down. It makes me think the narrator is ashamed of their work (or thinking more about it as I type this, possibly loathing it as a coping mechanism). Writing is often turned to as a venting point for these kinds of problems precisely because the writer is in total control with no outside influences to get in the way and muddy things up. If the writer doesn't enjoy writing, then why turn to it to cope?

The sense of determination in the last four lines gives a nice upswing to the mood of the poem and you do well to reiterate the title in the last line, though the brevity of the work makes it seem more the narrator changed their mind on a dime instead of overcoming their obstacle. Something that could benefit this ending's impact would be to expound on everything before it. Beef the poem up, add length and more vivid descriptions of this person's struggle to go another day. It doesn't have to be a novel, but the more details, the merrier.

Structure-wise, this poem confuses me a bit. Stylistically maintaining a no-punctuation approach can work well and serve the poem's purpose in great ways, but it fell a little flat for me on this one. I found myself trying to create pauses where I thought sentences/complete thoughts were (lines 11, 12, 13, and 15) only to have them unexpectedly continued. The punctuation in the last three lines serves no genuinely enhancing purpose for the reader. By this time, we're used to the lack of punctuation and can see that the poem is coming to a close. Adding the periods there only serves to make the ending more chunky, especially when the second-to-last line doesn't have a period or a comma or anything when in standard english writing, it would.

I know I've scrutinized this pretty heavily, but I do see the merits of the work and greatly appreciate the value of putting one's thoughts to paper. On shorter poems like this it's much easier for the reader to notice discrepancies according to their notions of what "good" writing is, and I do just that. Thank you for submitting, it was a pleasure to read and review your work.