Touchdown

To Andrew.

Love is a concussion,

The left tackle's broad shoulder

Colliding with my chest,

The air gushing out of my lungs

And as the ground rushes up to meet me,

Stars float up in front of my eyes.

I can hear my surroundings, but it comes in distorted,

Like listening to a broken television.

You loom above, speaking with someone else's radio voice,

And rip the helmet off my head.

Love is the siren on the ambulance,

Beating in my brain,

As they load me onto the gurney.

And I can hear myself pleading to the paramedics:

“I'm fine, come on, just let me go home"”

Warbled, right before my guts come spilling out my mouth.

And you chuckle, sitting beside me in the back,

“You're a mess.”

Love is a cold stethoscope,

The freezing metal making me shiver,

Invading the snowy plains of my skin.

The doctor's rubbery face flashes in and out,

His voice booming like the caterpillar's,

Hookah smoke rings swallowing me whole.

Love is your hot chocolate in the morning,

When you ask how my night was,

And I can't frown at you, because my head still hurts.

Then you kiss me on the cheek, but only when nobody's looking,

And help me out of my chair and back up to your room.

Author's Note

Please review :)

Reviews

[Ravyne Hawke]

This is a powerful poem about love because it shows the reality of love instead of the usual fanfare of sappy love songs. I love the football metaphor and how well it is carried throughout the poem. I love these lines:

His voice booming like the caterpillar's,
Hookah smoke rings swallowing me whole.

Such an original way to show someone having a concussion and hallucinating. Brilliant!

[Clockwork]

I like how your metaphors about love in this poem. The reason I like them so much is that they are not cliche. They are not the kind of thoughts that sugarcoat love and pretend that it is all violin solos and red roses. I also liked how you extend your first metaphor about football. The details you used about the game of football transferred very well to love. Well done Mia, I think I shall read more of you soon.