How it Was For Lexi...A Story by E.L. Debbagecharacter side to a story i'm hoping to flesh out soon.Ok so it began like this. It was my first term at Esterwick Boarding School and I was horribly nervous. I walked through the great double doors into the grand building and was welcomed home. The seas of people surrounding me were to be my new family. So I was shown to my room where I met
my roommate Brooklyn. Admittedly we didn’t hit it off straight away but that
didn’t bother me. She did make an honourable effort to get to know me but left
our relationship at the stage of awkward small talk and smiles when I struggled
to reciprocate. She later introduced me to her friend, Maya. She did so with a
reluctance playing in her eyes. I was curious. Maya took an instant interest in
me. However much I squirmed at the presence of a new potential friend; she refused
to give up on me. This was the first of many things I thought was strange about
her, however grateful I was for the company. Maya told me stories about her old and current friends; she had nothing nice to say. Her words were full of scorn and jealousy and the situations she spoke of quite clearly blown out of proportion. I called it the Maya scale. ‘On a scale of one to Maya how mad are you?’ was the running joke. Then she told me she was ill, she didn’t expand on that. She showed me scars she’d drawn on herself and I was overwhelmed. I didn’t share anything because she made me feel guilty for having concerns other than her. She was exhaustively passive aggressive and enjoyed the spotlight, I could tell that much. It was good like this I suppose. We became best friends. Then one evening she fell apart. She phoned me in hysterical tears telling me she’d done something ‘stupid’. I was out of my depth, I didn’t know what to say or do. She told me something had happened at home, she wouldn’t go further than that which was curious. I asked her if she needed anything and she cut me off. That night I didn’t sleep
because I was so worried, but the next day she was fine, cheery as ever. It was
infuriating and it became a frequent thing. The friends I’d made slowly stopped
saying hello to me in the corridors because I didn’t return their messages and
stopped going out as much. I was constantly tired and my sanity only stretched
far enough to deal with Maya. I was blind at the time but I cared for her, too
much for my own good.
Overtime I became very lonely, just
like her I guess. She told me it was different for me because she was ill and I
was not, invalidating my own sickness. It was becoming too much and I was fed
up with her scaring me with empty threats that she’d hurt herself if I refused
a request. It was becoming sinister and uncomfortable. I didn’t understand then,
of course I didn’t. It was hard to feel sympathy for a girl who made you, well,
miserable. I could barely get myself out of bed
and Brook noticed this. She became increasingly concerned despite us not being
close. She seemed to know what was going on. She told me her own experience
feeling the only way to escape the horrid cycle of Maya Grayson was to direct
her toward somebody else, that someone being me. She said that she was sorry
and that she’d hoped I could help Maya become more empathetic. She thought we’d
be able to help each other. I trusted Brook, eventually. We needed to act.
Brook warned me that I could not let Maya control my life anymore. She told me
her threats are empty and only once has she ever put herself in hospital for a
stand Brook made. I knew Maya needed help but Brook was right, it wasn’t my
concern especially if it was bringing me down to a dangerous level along with
her. I asked for Brook’s help to intervene. I spent a few days with Brook and her
friends avoiding Maya. She soon called me over and demanded I tell her what was
going on. Sticking to the plan I told her how I felt, how she wasn’t really much
of a friend to me. Refusing to listen she turned it around; she said she felt
betrayed that I’d go to Brook about this. She told me she’d trusted me with her
life and I was going to have to work to get that trust back. I was furious that
she refused to hear what I was saying. I walked towards the entrance to the
room. She turned to me and said that if I leave, that was it. She told me she’d
write a letter, informing those who care that I pushed her to do it, that I
treated her so badly she had no choice. I told her I was done with her bullshit
and left. How could I think anything of it? She was insane and I didn’t have much sanity left myself. The next morning I called her hoping
she’d act as if nothing happened. The more I thought about the encounter the
guiltier I felt. She didn’t answer her phone but I wasn’t concerned just yet. I
made my way towards her dorm to ask her to have breakfast with me. I entered an
empty room and closed the door behind me to investigate. By now I was worried,
well, a part of me thought she might be hiding to teach me a lesson but by now I
wasn’t easily fooled. Kelsey, her roommate entered informing me that Maya wasn’t
in her bed in the evening. She’d gone and nobody knew where. I thought the
worst. Running to our spot in town I tried
to think like her, tried to get inside her head. She’d always said to me that
if she were to die, nobody would ever know how and there’d be no trace of her;
she’d disappear. She always said it with a smile so of course like most things
she said I didn’t take it literally. I needed to do some digging into her background
and I needed to find out the truth about her family, not the bullshit she had already
told me. I found that her mother was severely mentally ill and in an asylum,
receiving treatment for paranoid schizophrenia. I came up with a theory that
she’d been neglected, her mother was too ill and confused to look after her
properly and this had affected her. By watching her mother’s actions she learnt
mannerisms that affect her and others negatively. Only difference between her
and her mother was that Maya wasn’t getting help. I was a wreck so the next
thing to do was to go to the headmistresses’ office to report her missing. I
got her to phone the police after telling her what I knew. I didn’t tell her
about our fight, I already blamed myself enough and if anything had happened to
her I knew it would haunt me for the rest of my life. Was that not punishment
enough? Maya knew this would make me regret ever crossing her but even still I
knew that wouldn’t satisfy her. It was then I realized she probably wasn’t dead,
she was crying out for help. Search teams were sent to look for her
and I helped, I knew her best; even better now. I remembered a forest walk we
once went on and how she’ marveled over the beauty, saying how wonderful it
would be to make a home here away from everyone. I went alone, not wanting to
scare her if she was there, after hours I found her. She was injured and delirious
but I was so relived I grabbed her tightly and hugged her until she fought me
off. I called help and she was taken to hospital for tests. She was in a state,
but she was alive. I was so afraid she’d taken all chance of hope away from herself
with the finality of death but she was ok. I know now that there’s hope for
anybody so long as someone has faith in them. My faith in Maya Grayson is still
alive and well, as is she. For that I am eternally grateful.
© 2015 E.L. DebbageAuthor's Note
Reviews
|
Stats
258 Views
2 Reviews Added on July 23, 2015 Last Updated on July 27, 2015 AuthorE.L. DebbageNorwich , United KingdomAboutHi, I write a lot of poetry most of which is probably garbage more..Writing
Related WritingPeople who liked this story also liked..
|