Ripples

Hello dear friend, I’m grateful you have come
Please may I lend your conscious for a while?
There’s something I’ve been wanting to explain,
It happened when your eyes encountered mine…

You’ll have to walk beside me while I try
To find the words for something that resides,
Beyond this world, it can’t be sought nor held;
As deep and far and ancient as the sky.

Imagine for a moment all you are
Is fading softly into nothingness ~
And with new eyes a vision to behold,
Reflected in a lake as smooth as glass.

It’s not for me to say what you can see,
But leave your mind unshackled to perceive
A space where emptiness and everything
Are reconciled in perfect harmony.

It’s all the past and future in one scene
Of beauty, pain and hopes and fears and dreams
Gold boats that sail oceans lakes and streams
A time that’s neither here nor in between.

So standing here upon the waters edge,
I take a rock and cast it from the land
And when it sets the water into waves
I know somehow you also understand.

Reviews

[emmajoygreen]

For some reason I see the ripples as a lure.. perhaps around a corner, out of sight. Your words are put so well, visual and gentle, an invitation biding its time! The form, its sound of alternate lines is more than form, clever and appropriate. Lovely poem, start to finish. Take care, keep safel danielle

[Mk.t.g]

"It’s all the past and future in one scene
Of beauty, pain and hopes and fears and dreams"
The above lines were so nice! I loved the writing style that you've used here, elle_morell! Recently came across your page, and I love all your work already.
Mk.t.g

[willweb]

I have a special place in my heart for ripples. I know, that might sound weird, but I wrote a little poem a long time ago for someone special and ripples were a big part of the poem. Now every time I hear the word my thoughts move to that time. That can be a good or a bad thing. That being said, I enjoyed your poem and thanks for the title as it drew me here. I just loved this poem. It feels complete and it had body and meaning. I could see myself in this, in the reflection on the smooth surface of that lake. This was fantastic.

[Sami Khalil]

I like your style of poetry; a good one with a worthy message. I like your comparison of conscience to ripple effects. So true indeed. From within us come all things out that affects is and others.
We are all seeking some form of perfect harmony as you marvelously state.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I love this. It's really delightful to read! I will offer two bits of advice on the piece. One, I think you should replace the word "lend" in the second line with the word "borrow" because that is clearly your intention since my conscience or consciousness would not be "yours" to "lend". Secondly, I would replace the word "emptyness" in the fourth stanza with "emptiness" in keeping with proper spelling. You have a wonderful talent and gift to move your reader and guide them along with your vision. I greatly enjoyed the read.

[danielle.]

I’m really pleased that this piece took you where I intended xo

[danielle.]

If I change lend to borrow it will ruin my pentameter… in Australia, at least we often use the word ‘lend’ instead of ‘borrow’, but I suppose Aussies are not known for being the most grammatically correct people either!