Burning The Candle

There I went again...
I burnt the candle at both ends.
To my self I promised NO
Yet I turned upon me when my guard was low.
And I was lowered
to place I didn't want to go again.
Why didn't I refrain?

It's just a little fun, they said.
And old habits die hard.

Now whilst I fight to recover
I'm swallowed by the guilt of a mother,
the guilt of a lover.

I have to close this chapter over.

Speed bumps become mountains
Eyes flowing like fountains
Vitality spread thin
Drained chalice within.
Regrets follow shame
and there’s no one to blame.
Conflicting versions of my self
and some of me is bad for my health.

Swallow it down, that jagged pill
and curse the absence of my will.
Lament the damage done to soul,
and pledge, next time to keep it whole.