leaking

Lost

And I have no idea why

Its like years of pain and
memories are leaking out of me
trailing me every where I go

I want to wrap myself in myself
and find the rocking motion
that will soothe me and remind me

of my strength.

I'm tired.

Tired of striving to create things
that crumble like matchstick houses

lost with no sense of point, no drive
to put one foot in front of the other
besides knowing I must to provide

Waiting for the unnamed torment to pass
wondering how broken it is or if my veil
of vulnerability has just worn to tatters

I feel like I don't know me

Or what I want anymore.

I despise this darker side, this deep questioning
and loss of faith and innocence. Always
so afraid he'd steal my light, the nameless one

But i think I'm the one who lost it

And I don't remember where to look.

Lost.

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

There is perhaps no worse feeling than that of being competely "lost". It's like walking through the world with goggles and wet shoes; deprivation of certain senses and over exaggeration of others. You have penned quite materfully a feeling/emotion that I too have know. Sometimes I walk through life, doing what I am "supposed" to do because these things need to be done, but in reality I feel as though I'm sloshing through maply syrup; fighting for ground.

The concept of this one is quite clear and moving. There is a questioning, as well as a forlorn sense of almost intoxicating despair. The flow was also very nice. On a whole this was well done.

[Elleannatasha]

Thank you. Yes, that is precisely it... I feel mine in my belly, like boulder that wants to crush me into my mattress. It's tiring but transitory. I hope.