we sail today....

i walk on water without
your benefit of the doubt
give me just another chance
i see it might be my last one

i saw you looking lost and scared
your face is just a clever disguise
you forgot how to tell the truth
you act like everything's alright

maybe if you looked at me
our rules have taken a toll
if you'd graced my with even a sight
you'd see that i was looking away
you'd see that i was looking, and see that i was looking at you

unrequited love is our name
that ship has sailed in the light
if you know what to say shut your mouth
i enjoy all the things that you like

your glowing eyes don't greet me
the heartstrings have been pulled
as if i were a puppet
to be guided away from my life...

it was probably all just a dream
and a wonderful one at that
everyone said it was real
if you lose sight of me i'm not coming back..

i try and walk on your water
without the benefit of your doubt

i try and walk on your water
the ship is sinking without a doubt...

Author's Note

hmmmm

Reviews

[LlamaLord]

There are so many parts to this that gave me that great "shiver" writers/readers always look for.

"your glowing eyes don't greet me
the heartstrings have been pulled
as if i were a puppet
to be guided away from my life..."
I felt that part of the poem to be the strongest at heart. Very bold and straightforward.. like you are really wanting to tell the reader how you feel and what it's like.

"i try and walk on your water
without the benefit of your doubt

i try and walk on your water
the ship is sinking without a doubt..."
Of course, the ending got me. You used the phrase, "..walk on water" very fluently mainly because your simplistic rhyme scheme has amazing flow. Simplicity can either make a piece of art, or break a piece of art. I think you incorporated it just enough to make it work. Very nice :) Thanks for the read Mr. Martin.

[Jordan Newell]

granvals likes your poem