to you [the promises]

i see the fire has died down

conviction in your eyes

has always been

another clever guise

 

a stroke of luck is all i need

the hazard is eating me

just like the sunny

deep blue skies

 

we are not a collective puppet

left here for dead and rotting

and the flies, they just wont fly

away

 

irony is the surest way

to kill the feeling that you may have

had before

just keep marching on

 

a love has built me up

a love has torn me down

but i have kept my promises

i have kept my promises

to you

 

love was

love was dear and

love was

love was near the

start and near the end of all this

won't you stop to think about this?

please.

Reviews

[Andie]

wow... this has a lot of emotion in it. Strong words... I love this stanza:
"i see the fire has died down

conviction in your eyes

has always been

another clever guise"
hope you're okay.. Andie

[Lexi =]]

Wow I agree with Austin Davis!
But the best part to me was
"A love has built me up, A love has torn me down, but i have kept my promise, I have kept my promises to you." I love this poem i'm adding it to my favorites. Good Job! =]

[LlamaLord]

Ah.. the rhyme scheme was very beautiful.
"love was

love was dear and

love was

love was near the

start and near the end of all this"
These parts were like a song to me. Melodic writing is one of the best ways to catch a readers attention. Also, the imagery caught my attention as well. Everything from the blue skies, added certain feeling the piece. Great writin! :D