slowing down much too fast

the bell that rings to wake me up

has tolled a time too many

for the nights lost and nights forgotten

are not the life i chose to live

 

well lose me one more time and i'll

show you how it's done

struggling for the touch of the skin

i have worked so hard to get to

 

but now that i'm here i've lost it

now that i'm here you don't want it

oh.. what a shame

 

climbing up that forgotten hill i have

lost touch with you

stare at me for one more second

i want to see your eyes

 

your beautiful eyes

 

the bell of the morning it tolls for me and

you

expectations are so overrated i

just need some time, i just need some time

.....

 

 

 

 

 

(the tourist brought me here and left me stuck in a revolving door)

Reviews

[LlamaLord]

I was really impressed by how much you put into your phrases. Not "word-wise", but emotionally. The kind of stuff you find in really nice quotes.
"expectations are so overrated"
I love this line!!!! It tells the reader how you feel and what you are trying to say all in a few words. Enjoyed this piece a lot! :D Nicely done Jake!

-Austin

[Andie]

This has that meter that really makes this sound poetic. There's a line between a poem and prose with a bunch of indents and to me, you know it well. Good Job! :D