Over

it won't stop

i knew even before it started

it just won't stop.

when i was tricked into believing

that this was all real

when it wasn't

now it won't stop..

 

the pain and elation

of this situation

has dropped my thoughts

into an endless

void

 

the end is near

i thought once again

but it's almost here

i'm lying my way through

a love that has changed

 

but i won't doubt for a second

that when it starts

i'll be finished for good.

Author's Note

something i'm working on. a song will be made eventually. tell me what you think. :)

Reviews

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This was nice :-)
I really found it very powerful and deep. Some of the lines were very thoughtful.
"the end is near
i thought once again
but it's almost here
i'm lying my way through
a love that has changed" - I likes this part the most, and the way with which you have painted the entire picture with your words on reader's mind was very appealing indeed.
The imagery is simply outstanding here.
Though this piece needs some polishing with the grammar and the flow, you can make it better by imparting a better flawless flow here by changing few words.
Like in the above section only, the usage of word "changed" drifted the flow of the read. So, I guess you can still work with it :)
But nevertheless, I liked it...keep writing :)

[Andie]

I like it. I think it would make a good song, but ditto what Katie said.

[LlamaLord]

very nice. has the perfect flow for a song. id love to see the finished product because this is very well done as it is!

[Katie Snyder]

this is good. but i am deadly concerned.