Unendurable Weightlessness

An ease to float beyond compare
above those who strive hard
creates an emotion,
A weightlessness unmeasurable.

A feeling of such,
pleasurable to all or some,
yet diminishing as time flies,
and becomes unbearable...

Touching the stars,
is not as exhilarating,
if to touch them...
is of no effort...

Weightlessness goes unendurable
if the meaning of life perishes...

Reviews

[Salar Majak]

Touching the stars,
is not as exhilarating,
if to touch them...
is of no effort...



ohhhhhh mmyyyy GOOOODDDD!!!!!!!! i love these lines! the title caught my eyes and the poem was outstanding!!!! beautifuL!!!!!!!!!! i love the endind! and how it all flows together! beautiful

[Monster ^.^]

You make me blush! hahaha! Thank you very much! haha

[Rhianne Ney]

Touching the stars,
is not as exhilarating,
if to touch them...
is of no effort...

Weightlessness goes unendurable
if the meaning of life perishes...

Great and well thought of lines...
I applaud your thoughts here and how you wonderfully piece. (;

[Rita L. Sev]

True, what joy is there in accomplishing a task that is of no effort, even if it is touching the stars? A thoughtful piece, with great form and flow.

[Monster ^.^]

I love the way you summarized that. Thank you very much :)

[BL]

Super imaginative and different, I like your illogical ness

[Monster ^.^]

Hahaha! illogical ness? Now that made me laugh :)

[BL]

Sorry illogicalness, all one word, if it is one

[Monster ^.^]

Don't worry, I understood :)

[Sami Khalil]

I feel weightless when I read your work but weighted when I start thinking about its meanings...:)

[Monster ^.^]

Wow, thank you... Maybe because life has something much more in store for you to reflect on :)

[Sami Khalil]

It does. Much obliged...You are welcome...:)

[Monster ^.^]

:D

[Sami Khalil]

^^~^^ :)

[angelina neves]

Lovely!

[redflutterby]

I really like the third verse. So much true there...who appreciates anything that comes easily to them? Very few people. Great poem.

[Monster ^.^]

Very few indeed! Thank you for reading!

[SHEEMA HUQ]

I wonder if you were writing this poem in mid air, sitting on a hoist? Very good indeed, well done

[Monster ^.^]

In mid air... and how did you guess that? haha! Thank you Sheema, as always...

[SHEEMA HUQ]

actually this is very clever, I like the way you present a premise that is so agreeable, that one cannot disagree, I like the artful approach you have taken, excellent

[Sir Joe]

Weightlessness goes unendurable
if the meaning of life perishes...

The ending summarizes it all. Once you've allowed yourself to be lost in your loftiness, you'll lose the goodness of life. A meaningful poem this is. A great universal theme in this piece is being imparted to the readers in a poetic manner. It is, indeed, true that great height requires great strength to maintain the stance. If the soul is too weak to support your whole being in loftiness, a strong tendency there is for you to smash hard on the ground.

There is not much that I can say about the structural and syntactical aspect of the poem. I can see that you have a good faculty of the English language.

This is a great write, Monster. =)


My best wishes to you.


- sir joe

[Monster ^.^]

Thank you Sir Joe for a thorough walk-through :)

[Sir Joe]

You're most welcome, Kabayan. =)