Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and you think you know how this goes, at thought, one would pass the less traveled, Others, to one with less woes,
To tread is a choice one should make, Is quite important, if not, to most, So with a sigh, ponder... ponder... to reach the utmost.
Weighing priorities; weighing... weighing... The dilemma is but a period in life, To choose one is to betray the other, Deep within, a mind in strife.
Two roads diverged ahead your quest, No rules say you must choose either. Life is but one's own making, So what I'd do is make another....
Your poem has strong potential, Monster, but i feel its effedtiveness was marred by the repeatings of ponder and weighing in the second and third stanzas. It's as though you were stuck for a powerful, unique word, so you used a mundane one twice. This is of course only one man's opinion, but I am confident that, with a little more patience (and a good thesaurus!), this can be elevated from a pleasant verse to a truly moving poem.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you very much!!! I have a tendency to do this, dragging a word twice. Maybe because I could im.. read moreThank you very much!!! I have a tendency to do this, dragging a word twice. Maybe because I could imagine it echoing (the ellipses) and think it's kinda cool. Maybe next time I should do it with a powerful word instead of a mundane one, do you think that would work? Or should I just rid of that persistent habit? haha
I like your thoughts and your words are true.
"Two roads diverged ahead your quest,
No rules say you must choose either.
Life is but one's own making,
So what I'd do is make another...."
Life is simple. Follow your dreams and try to enjoy each new day. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry my friend.
Coyote
Your poem has strong potential, Monster, but i feel its effedtiveness was marred by the repeatings of ponder and weighing in the second and third stanzas. It's as though you were stuck for a powerful, unique word, so you used a mundane one twice. This is of course only one man's opinion, but I am confident that, with a little more patience (and a good thesaurus!), this can be elevated from a pleasant verse to a truly moving poem.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you very much!!! I have a tendency to do this, dragging a word twice. Maybe because I could im.. read moreThank you very much!!! I have a tendency to do this, dragging a word twice. Maybe because I could imagine it echoing (the ellipses) and think it's kinda cool. Maybe next time I should do it with a powerful word instead of a mundane one, do you think that would work? Or should I just rid of that persistent habit? haha
first poem I read in this site and man it intimidated me! Very well done! :)
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Nothing to be intimidated of, Simphonia. ;) we have our way. If I read yours, I'd probably get intim.. read moreNothing to be intimidated of, Simphonia. ;) we have our way. If I read yours, I'd probably get intimidated myself! :)
11 Years Ago
geeee, oh well, practice makes perfect! :) Thanks my friend! :D
I loved your original 'take' on Mr. Frost's famous poem. The last two paras were superb as was ALL your write. Well done Monster! Thanks for entering it into my contest!
According to Mister Gombeggar down there, it might have been a Birch tree. I wouldn't know myself :3
11 Years Ago
@ Eileen: I've read a good deal of Frost, and his reference to yellow wood is an allusion to the Fal.. read more@ Eileen: I've read a good deal of Frost, and his reference to yellow wood is an allusion to the Fall season, the approach of winter, from which you may infer all manner of emotional connotations re: adulthood, ineffectuality, approaching death, etc. Hope this helps.
11 Years Ago
Thanks, Mark. I appreciate the clarification. Eileen
My real name is JS Legara. I'm Male, 18 years of age, taking up Accountancy.
I really love writing Short Stories, I like them funny. Since I could make through poetry and stage plays o-kay, I try t.. more..