Gone Fishing

About a man who wants to learn how to fish

Man sits, center stage, with a fishing pole off the edge. On Stage Left, a sign stands: "Hank's Fishin' Lessons. $7. No refunds"

FRANK- Hey. Are you Hank?

HANK - Yep.

FRANK - And, you're the guy who gives fishing lessons?

HANK - Yep.

FRANK - Awesome! Here's $7. What do I need to do?

HANK - Got a pole?

FRANK - Yes! This is so exciting!

HANK - Got bait?

FRANK - I think so... (takes out bait) Is this the right bait?

HANK - It's as good as any. So, put the bait on the hook, and put the hook in the water.

FRANK - Awesome. Great, thanks. Now what?

HANK - Now, you wait.

FRANK - Cool, cool. How long?

HANK - For as long as it takes.

FRANK - Well, how long does it take?

HANK - Depends.

FRANK - On what?

HANK - The fish.

FRANK - How many have you caught today?

HANK - Nothin'.

FRANK - You haven't caught anything?

HANK - Nope.

FRANK - How long've you been coming here?

HANK - 'bout 29 years, 7 months, 2 weeks, and 3 days.

FRANK - Has it always been this slow?

HANK - Yep.

FRANK - Why?

HANK - Cause, it just is.

FRANK - That's it?

HANK

Yep.

FRANK - Well, have you ever caught anything?

HANK - Every now and again.

FRANK - Then why do you offer lessons?

HANK - Cause.

FRANK - Cause why?

HANK - Cause a person gets hungry.

FRANK - I want my money back.

HANK - Nope. (Points to the sign)

FRANK - That's not fair.

HANK - Meh.

FRANK - I paid you to teach me how to fish!

HANK - Yep, and I did.

FRANK - That's $7 gone!

HANK - Not really.

FRANK - How can you say that?

HANK - Cause it isn't.

FRANK - Yes it is!

HANK - Nope.

FRANK - Then where is it?

HANK - Here, in my pocket.

FRANK - I demand you give me my money back.

HANK - Nope (points to sign again)

FRANK - Folks around here told me you were a Christian.

HANK - Yep.

FRANK - That you read the Bible.

HANK - Every day.

FRANK - That you do what it says.

HANK - Yep.

FRANK - So where does it say "Pretend to give fishing lessons and take people's money"?

HANK - It don't.

FRANK - Then how do you justify this?

HANK - W W J D.

FRANK - W W J D?

HANK - Yep.

FRANK - What would Jesus do?

HANK - Uh huh.

FRANK - How do you figure?

HANK - "Then He said to them, 'Follow Me, and I will make you fisher's of men.'"

FRANK - That's it?

HANK - Yep.

FRANK - Your entire enterprise is based on that?

HANK - Yep.

FRANK - Is that even a part of the bible?

HANK - Matthew, chapter 4, verse 19, New King James Version.

FRANK - Are you sure?

HANK - Yep.

FRANK - Okay, fine!

HANK - How about "Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret because of him who prospers in his way."?

FRANK - Shut up.

HANK - Psalm chapter 37, verse 7. Same translation.

FRANK - Seriously?

HANK - Yep.

FRANK - Are you done giving sermons?

HANK - I can do that, too, such as "A fool and his money are soon parted." That one's not in the Bible, though.

FRANK - Keep the money.

HANK - "The Lord is good to those who wait for Him" from Lamentations 3:25.

FRANK - Is that even taken in context?

HANK - Yep.

FRANK - I'm done! Keep the pole!

FRANK exits as HANK picks up the other fishing pole. There's a bit of a wiggle at the other end of it, he pulls in the end, and there's a fish. Another person walks on, and looks.

SAM - Holy cow! You caught a fish!

FRANK - Yep.

SAM - Say, do you give fishing lessons?

HANK - Yep!

Author's Note

How is the flow of dialogue? Is it funny?

Reviews

[Janine Boiselle]

I thought your flow was very good! Simple and quick, but humorous. I wasn't expecting a religious moral or twist at the end, but being taken of guard was a pleasant experience. However, I felt like the biblical portion came off a little preachy. Perhaps you can take this part to a different level some how? Maybe Frank isn't familiar with Christianity and Hank has to "dumb it down" for him (for lack of a better phrase)?

Regardless, solid one act play :)

[Naysan arif]

It is really good.... i liked it :)