Side Effects

Lately

I can barely even breathe

I can barely even speak

I can barely even think

Without the same feeling

Torturing me

It kills

It scares

It pesters

It’s always there

That same thought

In the back of my mind

What if I’m not worth it to you?

What if

I’m just another problem

Just another heartbeat

Was I ever more than that?

Just a heartbeat?

Another one of life’s side effects?

They say that in good times

You’ll find friends

But it's when night comes

And the dark sets

You’ll find family

I thought I had a family

But now

As we laugh and joke and talk

About nothing at all

I look into your eyes

And you look into mine

We smile

But it’s not a real smile

It’s that smile

The one that is the only thing

Keeping my tears from falling

It means pain

And it means hurt

But the fact that you understand that?

Means family

But oddly enough

It’s times like these

In which I feel most loved

The times when you know

The times when I know

That we aren’t okay

That we do need each other

And that we are so much more

Than problems

We’re side effects

How could I ever have thought

That you didn’t care

It’s taken me this long

But I’ve realized, now

You are so much more to me

Than I ever would have dreamed

You know what I’m thinking

Before I’ve said a word

You know I hate it

When you tell me

That it will all be okay

But you tell me anyway

Because it’s what I need to hear

And the fact is?

I love you for it

And even though

I can never force the words out

You know I need you

You know I love you

And you know that I am so thankful

To be one of your many side effects

Reviews

[Black Rose]

Spellbound! And you know that I am so thankful to be one of your side effect. Wow! Just wow. I am glad though you have a friend who can see the words you speak through your eyes :)