WHY AREN’T THEY TALKING?

Observations on the evolution of relationships... Written a couple of years ago.

It must have happened over time… It could not have occurred just at the moment, when sitting in my usual café, I suddenly looked up and noticed there were no conversations.

The largish room had seemed oddly quiet; two waitresses bustling back and forth delivering orders or clearing tables, providing some noise. The patrons? I looked around. There were about thirty or so of us, scattered between eight tables. Some couples, a few groups of threes and fours, one other single occupant.

Most were between the ages of 25 and 70. The group of four 60-something women were the only ones talking, almost whispering - since the surrounding silence induced lower speaking levels.

The rest? I caught the odd word or two; a head rose briefly voicing something and quickly lowered again.

Yes, they were all on some mobile device, the other single occupant typing on a laptop.

From that point on, it became something akin to buying a new model car and suddenly seeing it everywhere, when once you were oblivious to its existence. Wherever I was, whatever the time of day, my eyes always strayed to the people around me.

It was as though some strange virus had been released, and was quickly and quietly infecting everyone under the age of seventy. Even some of those were falling victims during my two years of observation.

I am a talker. I don’t own a mobile phone. I used to have one back when I was working but disposed of it as soon as I became a carer. I don’t need it. When I’ve had to borrow one in an emergency, I’ve found myself typing out essay-length explanations then just deleting everything and ringing instead.

I talk a lot. When I am with someone - say at a café or having dinner - I need conversation much as I need the food before me. Out alone, I read a book, or scribble words in the ever-present notepad.

My mission, so to speak, was to understand how this virus was affecting the hosts. I could detect no immunity, the invasion unchallenged, multiplying exponentially and unopposed.

Firstly, some typical examples I encountered:

At a friend’s house, three young boys sitting on the couch, each with a phone - texting each other.

“Um… Why are they doing that?”

The mother whose boy had invited his two friends over giggled. “I know, it’s funny right?”

“You’re not concerned?”

“Hey, they’re here, not roaming the streets and getting into trouble like some others.”

“But wouldn’t be easier for them to just talk? They’re only inches apart from each other.”

Friend (now former friend) smiled. “Hear that?”

“What?” I strained my ears, expecting to have missed some sound. “I can’t hear anything except the odd giggle from the boys.”

“Exactly. Don’t you love the silence? It’s so soothing, after a day of work!”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

A couple (newly married judging by the sparkling gold rings and their age) sitting across from each other at an outdoor cafe.

“Did we order?”

Wife answers without lifting head up. “Huh?”

“I’ve been reading some work emails. We ordered right?”

“Yes,” wife says, finger scrolling the screen.

I watched her eyebrows rise. “Sally says the new place out in Coburg’s good. She just checked in.”

“Hmmm?” Husband doesn’t lift eyes either.

“I think we should go there soon.”

“Whatever.” He stops scrolling for a moment. “I reckon I’m up for review soon.”

“That’s good, right?” wife replies, head still down.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

A group of teens scattered across two tables outside a shopping centre fast-food joint:

“The dickbrain said I should get a life.” This from a blonde falling into the ‘leggings are not pants’ sub-group, her slightly overweight, (thin black tights-encased) thighs spreading on the chair.

“Troll.” This from a pimply boy with the ‘left-eye-hidden-by-a-side-fringe’ hairstyle requiring constant swiping across his forehead.

Silence. All six of them heads down, thumbs rapidly tapping.

“Are you sure?” the redhead with the lip piercing asked, eyes still on the screen.

“F**k him,” Blondie replied.

“Retard a*****e,” a blond boy added, sucking on a giant can of Mother.

During the ten minutes I sat watching, I did not see them make eye contact with each other or engage in any conversation other than the odd word released into the air between them and relating to whatever was going on online.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

I hold hundreds of these observations in my head. Some moments I wondered if I was the only one left uninfected. But unlike those movies where the sole survivor manages to figure out a way to reverse the damage and reclaim the afflicted ones, I hold no such hope.

My only brief glimmer is that perhaps some other solitary beings wander in a similar helpless state, scattered around the planet, unable to connect because the only means of communication is via the virus itself…

Phase two was actually attempting to engage some of these infected folk in verbal communication:

Two twenty-something’s, sitting at the next table. Both with the mobile phones next to their cups of coffee. Taking sips between scrolling and tapping/swiping.

“Excuse me?”

The young woman responded first, looking around before her eyes settled on me.

“Yes?” I detected a slight annoyance, as she’d been in the middle of texting.

“Do you mind if I ask you a couple of questions? I’m writing a paper-”

“Pete?” She interrupted me. “Pete!”

He responded to her second, more urgent tone, displaying a similar annoyance.

“Yeah?” I watched him sneak a peek at his phone.

“This lady here wants to ask some questions.”

“What about?” He glanced sideways at me.

I almost had their attention. I say almost because they were trying desperately not to glance at their screens. Their minds were still tethered there.

“Um… I’m doing some research… on conversation?”

“Yeah?” Pete again.

“I was wondering, do the two of you ever go out without your phones?”

A look passed between them. An ‘is she for real?’ kind of look.

“No?” the woman answered. “Why would we do that?”

“Well… to talk - you know, discuss your day, maybe share a funny moment-”

“Have you been spying on us?” Pete.

“No! Please, I-”

“Are you one of these weirdo conspiracy nuts?”

“Pete!” His girlfriend/partner almost berated him. I say almost again because she did finish the text while he’d been speaking.

Woah. The short exchange had evolved into… what exactly?

“I’m sorry I disturbed you, never mind,” I said and stood, gathering my bag and notebook.

I stood outside for a moment, peering in. Their eyes hadn’t followed my exit, nor were they discussing the brief interruption. I never happened.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

I tried again, this time with a family of four, father, mother, two children; a girl in her teens, a boy about ten or so.

“I’m sorry,” I found myself opening with an apology again. “I’m doing some research and I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind answering a couple of questions?”

“What are you selling, we’re not interested.” This from the distracted father who’d raised his eyes off his mobile screen long enough to check whether I carried anything.

“No, no!” I was quick to shut that assumption down. “I’m not selling anything or trying to get money for Charity or anything.”

“You’re studying?” The mother gave me the once over and an “aren’t you kind of too old to be doing that?” look.

I blurted it out. “Do you ever go out as a family without your phones and devices?” (The boy was playing a game on his iPod.)

The teenage girl had not bothered to even raise her eyes. She was frowning at the screen.

Nobody spoke. Had they not heard? Had they misheard? The distinctive tone of an incoming text broke the silence, quickly followed by a muttered “Finally!” from the daughter who then began to type at lightning speed using her thumbs. I did for a moment wonder what a lifetime of this repetitive action would result in - my mother having arthritis in both her thumbs from her work as a machinist…

“Um…” The mother was actually thinking?

“Why are you asking?” The father again, who still harboured suspicions as to my motive.

“Do you talk to each other when you go out?” I had to know! I’d been watching them and not heard a word after the brief discussion as they’d ordered.

“Of course we do!” The mother having given it some thought had understood where I was heading and had come out on the offensive. “We’re just waiting for our meal.”

“I see.”

“We have a no phones policy when we’re eating!” she added, her voice smug, like she’d thought this up and was the one enforcing it. 

 

“So you discuss things while you’re eating then?”

I could see the father getting agitated - maybe he was hungry or maybe he was feeling threatened by my questions. I couldn’t make out his head-down fidgeting. He’d left mosy of the conversation to the mother so far.

“Well we don’t talk with our mouths full of course, (we have manners) but yes, we do talk about our days and stuff.”

“Stuff?”

“What’s the matter with you?” The father had had enough. “We’re here trying to have a meal as a family. You think you can just walk up and-”  

 

“What’s going on?” The daughter had heard his annoyed outburst and paused her thumbs.

“Nothing honey.”

“Okay then.”

I apologised and retreated to my table. I had a friend along.

“You have to stop doing that. They don’t like it!” He’d put his phone down the minute I sat.

“Did you hear?” I asked him.

“Sure. You were about one question away from getting tossed out of here.”

I only had a side-view; he however could see the entire family. Their dinner came shortly after my leaving them. It was scoffed quickly and methodically. No one spoke except for the young boy who mentioned something about “The teacher was late and then she said-” to which the mother replied “What have we said about speaking with a full mouth?” He never got to finish his sentence.

Once their dishes were cleared and coffee was ordered by the parents, the devices took over again.

“It is a virus,” my friend said, reaching for his phone and switching it off.

“Now you get it?”

“Seen but not heard. Perfect children right?”

“I am so angry right now I want to-”

“If something is so wide-spread it becomes the norm, than is it still a concern?” He always threw questions like this at me.

“You’re saying that if something is assumed normal because it is widely accepted, then by default it can’t be challenged?”

“I’m saying majority always rules. Communication is evolving. Technology is driving this change. You’re trying to stop evolution and that’s never gonna happen.”

“I just want to know damn it!”

“You’re stuck on verbal communication as the primary means.”

“So I’m like left behind, clinging to the old, afraid to embrace the new?”

I did glare at him.

“You’re trying to understand something from without. From observation alone. Not possible.”

“But if I join them… No, that can’t happen because I will be infected too and then I will be them. I will lose the will to question! I won’t care!”

“Then don’t join them. You do have a choice!”

“Do I? Look around you. Once the old folk die off, you and I will be the only voices heard.”

“A bit dramatic.”

“Is it?” I thought about all those hours the two of us had spent talking together over the years. Sometimes the subject matter so intense we talked the night through - surprised to see the dawn breaking… “It doesn’t bother you?”

“Sure it does. You think I like this disconnection around us?”

“But they’re not disconnected! All these people are talking to lots of other people round the world! They’ve never been as connected as they are right now!”

“Not to each other though. They’re so caught up in everyone else’s lives they are neglecting their own.”

We talked long into the night, taking our conversation to a nearby bar. Things were a little different there, some rowdy drunken exchanges between groups, some attempts at hooking up by single patrons… But the couples! They sat in the alcoves without speaking. The odd kiss maybe, some not-so-timid attempts at groping but mostly, the phones held their attention hostage.

“If they’re not talking to each other, then what forms the basis for a relationship? Sex? Convenience?” I was stumped. I really was. There was the word ‘love’ floating in my head. Had love died and been replaced with ‘I heart u’? Did I heart u still mean I am so deeply enamoured, so madly in awe, so magnificently infused by your essence, so mesmerised by the words emerging from your soul…?

“I think despite this connectedness - or maybe because of it? - People are lonely; maybe they feel a sense of comfort, finding someone similar to them. Sexual attraction is an indicator, sure, but like I said, people need to feel like they belong.”

“But they don’t! There is no intimacy. No meshing of minds! Am I too old?”

I spent what was left of than night and many weeks afterwards, thinking about this. Was I reacting the same way my parents reacted, and their parents reacted and so on and so on? Rejecting innovation out of fear? Refuting progress because it was at odds with what I deemed my comfort-zone?

I knew I would never willingly infect myself with the virus. But would there come a point - and quite soon - when I would be forced to back off, stop questioning, stop judging?

Who was I to decree this new communication as inferior? Just because I liked talking and exchanging thoughts face-to-face rather than through acronyms on a small screen-

The phrase ‘life lessons’ popped in my head. The generations of parents and grandparents gathered around children, reciting stories and passing on traditions and folk-lore within which lessons hid, lessons absorbed unknowingly by young minds - until the day they were needed and emerged from memory…

I thought about my own sons. I’d kept them close. Always talking, talking… I thought of the day Dylan, my oldest boy suddenly said “Why must everything you say be a life-lesson?”

Had I screwed up their futures? I believed always in knowledge being power. I believed I was giving them the means to deal with the many adversities they’d face. Also the myriad possibilities life presented if one was not tethered, distracted…

Doubt crept in. Fear too. Had I in fact achieved the opposite?

Had I produced two young adults who’d struggle to fit in? In not allowing this virus to take hold, had I denied them all connectivity?

Or would they too, once they ventured out into the ‘real world’, invite the virus in? Dylan will start University in a year or so… He’ll need a mobile phone.

 

Author's Note

Dedicated to a friend taken too soon...

Reviews

[. serah .]

-- thank you so much for locating this incredibly insightful piece... -- really sorry about your friend...

-- i could offer you a slightly different perspective... -- when i got kicked out of society some years ago, i was scared of turning into a mental vegetable... -- i started posting poetry online and i started interacting with writers but i had to face a lot of cyber bullying... then i found this site... and things changed... i was able to interact with people from across cultures... that too about writing... and ideas... -- i don't like facebook (never had an account on facebook)... -- if the internet did not exist and if this site did not exist, i wouldn't have made it to this moment in time... so i love technology... because it saved my spirit... -- then i met someone on this site and later in the real world... and experienced some beautiful moments... it started with scintillating conversation and scintillating conversation continues to be the most important part of it... but we live in different cities so a lot of it happens over email... (we are too verbose to manage with short texts lol :p)...

-- technology is a big help... but the purpose of technology was to improve things and not spoil them... -- unfortunately, people are abusing technology... they use phones to disconnect from the person they're sharing a meal with... -- my nephew (who will be 19 next month) is a victim of the same syndrome... -- there was a time when he and i were close but now we barely exchange a few words... -- i also notice that he is not into reading... not books and not the newspaper... -- reading the newspaper is a very important part of being an indian... and we're a very vibrant democracy... very involved in what's happening in our country... -- he is usually clueless... -- the CEO of google landed up in his college and he skipped the event... -- his mind is closed... and frankly, i think he's a cell phone addict...

-- anything can induce a stupor... for some people, it's a substance, for some it's a thought or an ideology and for some, it's a device... -- i think the main problem is the stupor... -- people who are in any kind of stupor cannot engage in a real conversation... -- the challenge is being alert and aware... and in the moment... -- i really don't know what the solution is but i agree with you entirely about how more and more number of people seem to be in a stupor... -- the same phone can be used to gather information or connect with people who are miles away but people use it to text each other while in the same room... -- the human mind (generally speaking) seems to be under-prepared for technology...

-- just my thoughts after reading your phenomenally well-researched and engaging narration... -- thank you yet again for digging out this piece... it's given me a lot of food for thought and also clarified some thoughts that i had about why so many people are becoming more and more 'disconnected' from their near and dear ones...

[Elise Anton]

Yeah, I agree totally. When I wrote this piece, I was totally closed off from the outside world. Circumstances blah blah. Only very recently have I made the 'leap', joining this site and Wattpad *which I'd joined first... The past few weeks have been life-changing - this being the first time I have shared my thoughts and emerged from my seclusion as such. I have 'met' some amazing people and have had some sorely-missed discussions as a result (such as with you and a few others!). I 'get' now that you can form friendships just as real and satisfying in terms of conversation online as you can offline.

That piece was specifically written because I ached, seeing couples and families sharing time but not really sharing. Using this shared time to communicate with others rather than between themselves... Tecnology is vital to today's living and I'm no technophobe, I use it to broaden my knowledge and understanding of the world. I still believe though that time should be set apart from it. Especially when surrounded by family and friends.

I think you are spot on when you say the human mind was under-prepared for the sudden and overwhelming technolocical advances... Maybe in time we will find the means to use it as it was intended. As a tool, not a drug. Thanks again for reading and offering your amazing insights!

[. serah .]

-- you're very welcome... -- i love reading your insightful thoughts and i love our conversations... and i know that ache very well... because i really miss conversations with my nephew... -- there was a time when he switched off his phone and we talked about music and movies and people and politics and everything else under the sun but now he's switched off from us... but i am hopeful that something he encounters in life... somewhere... out of the blue... will remind him of those conversations... and he will wake up from his stupor... -- i'm basically an atheist but i have some amount of faith in life and the interesting things it sends our way... -- for instance, i'm really glad we met and can continue to meet... -- we've not known each other for very long but i already think of you as a precious friend... -- you are one of the most receptive and attentive people i've ever come across... and it's nice to talk to you because you never create any barriers... not even unintentionally... i feel like i can be myself around you and that's colossal for me... so thank you for being you... :)

[Elise Anton]

Likewise! I don't connect easily with people. Most of them find me too complicated and my conversations too serious. There's a fellow I met the day I joined the other site. Had a laugh yesterday as we both realised our private messages were so many and so insightful we'd created a story worth sharing! He talks about his wife and family and I talk about mine... then we branch off into different discussions, adding humour, odd bits of sadness... I feel like I've known him my entire life... Have you seen the movie 84 Craring Cross Road? He reminded me of it and I watched it again last night. Brilliant film.

The friend I dedicated this to was the one I speak about in "my first kiss died". We shared an incredible friendship, something I believed I'd lost forever. So thank you for giving me hope that I can create more incredible friendships outside of my immediate environment!

[. serah .]

-- happy to know that... and that's wonderful about the story that got written spontaneously... if you share the story, i'd love to read it... :)

-- and thank you for the recommendation... i'll try to watch 84 Craring Cross Road... i haven't seen it yet...

-- it's a privilege to know you and to connect with you... -- i've lost some friends too... but i'm sure they would've liked me to make new friends... :)

[Stefano Segnan]

You are right .serah. It really depends on the user of the technology. It can be a good thing that can improve our lives if used in moderation, or it can be a devastating thing if abused. Internet is a good thing for me as well, because it allows me to meet people like you and Elise, and have conversations I would not have otherwise. On the other hand, a once good friend of mine let the Internet devour his mind. It was not entirely the fault of technology or the necessities of the society, it was his fault as well. So I guess every pro has his con.

[. serah .]

-- thank you for sharing your thoughts, monsieur... -- i agree... it's about the individual... i've been on this site since many years and i've seen people lose their piece for reviews... so anything's possible... even on a site like this... which, for someone like me, is actually a space for true conversations... and even shared silences... -- i read your comment and understand what you meant by the significance of a shared silence... in certain situations/relationships/equations...

[. serah .]

*lose their peace

[barleygirl]

This is delicious! Many are those who rant about this phenomenon, but I think yours is my favorite of all time! First & foremost, the playful humor makes it palatable . . . rather than being tuned out with many others bitching & moaning. Secondly, your examples are divine . . . you drill down to the essence of the thing, not just some hackneyed examples with superficial treatment. Most of all, I'm falling in love with people who take the time to manicure their writing, which you have done very unselfconsciously here (sounds natural). Being on the threshold of age 60, I also love the larger font you're using! *tee! hee!*

[Elise Anton]

Haha I'm not that far behind you age-wise and my monitor is always control-plusssed lol so I can see.
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I appreciate your thoughts and the 'manicure' thing is me being me. I have been writing for a long time, before spellcheck and other conveniences so it is natural for me to compose stuff without consciously editing. The age thing again alas...

[Norman 223]

I have two words to describe this - bloody brilliant!!. You have captured the whole gamut of the effect of "mass discommunication" in this piece. Spelling, grammar and conversation have given way to grunts, electronic beeps and the limitation of manual dexterity in all but the thumbs.
Darwin, we are still evolving. Homo Etextus has now made its debut

Thank you , Elise for writing in a way that everyone can understand and hopefully learn from.
Norman

[Elise Anton]

Thank you kindly for stopping by and reading! Homo Etextus... I love it! I'm waiting for the new wave of 'thumb arthritis' and 'vision loss further than 2 feet'... Should keep docs and optometrists quite busy, Can't wait to hear what they'll call these new 'conditions'....

[emmajoy]

I've read this twice, once as a piece of writing and next as a gripping story which really held my attention. It's excellent, language concise, imaginative, logical and as for the actual theme, how brilliant. You moved it along, observing, listening to bits, seeing, gazing.. interviewing, questioning, did what needs to be done to stop the rot. Because that's what you were doing, what you are doing.. and I admire that so much. Techno is grand, what would we do without it. But, yes, it's killing social exchange,this is where our eyes become smaller and our index fingers longer.. Brava.. fine fine writing.

[Elise Anton]

I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment! It still bugs me. I think I mentioned somewhere I am far from a technophobe, like you said, I cannot imagine now doing without aspects of it. The bugging part is more intense when I see young couples sitting side by side and not holding hands or speaking, both absorbed in a disconnected togetherness, connected to others instead, despite this time being 'their' time.

I sometimes want to shake them and say wake up! Look at the person next to you, not the screen, speak to him/her, instead of responding to innane comments by others. Even sit side by side in silence, enjoying the moments...

I see a new arthritic-type affliction in the near-future. Swollen finger joints, mishappen thumbs... not in the elderly but in the young... Also optometrists making a killing as eyes loose their focus if forced to look further away than the mere few inches of those small screens...

[Stefano Segnan]

Hello to you again! Since I agree completely with what you wrote and since I have experienced it first hand, I would like to share my two cents and expand on your idea.

Firstly, I would like to add it is not just about being connected but also about being absent. The absorption that such devices allow, such as instant and endless communication, can be used in the opposite direction. While I wander around the city or venture in a foreign country, the other half of those people you mention are shut with headphones listening to music. I traveled a lot, and I mostly traveled by train because I loved it. Trains allow you to interact with people, especially on longer routs (one time I spent 52 hours in a train). Today, when I enter a bus, a train, or simply sit on a bench or walk around, half of the people I behold are infected with the virus you mention, and the other half is infected with music. Both are symptoms of people being afraid of being alone with themselves. I feel I cannot approach those people because they pretend on being busy and look very defensive even before uttering a single word. Now, it is not music's fault, but I think people are becoming addicted with "not being with their own thoughts and emotions".

Secondly, even verbal communication can be void of meaning. I can listen to some people going on for hours with their small talks, but the content is empty. Internet and mobile-phones enable you to delve deeper into the life of others, however, most of the verbal communication I hear is the life of others! "Have you heard what he/she did?" or what he/she bought? So I do not think much has changed on that aspect except the tools.

Thirdly, communication between parents and/or partners is often lacking. For example, even before such devices, my sister never talked with my family much, not even when we were out for dinner. If I was the same, you could very well recreate that family of four from your story. And there are a lot of families like this, I even know some that were like this before the dawn of "instant gratification".

So while I completely agree with what you wrote, and I consider it to be a virus, I think this only enhanced (by a great margin) something humans were prone on doing before. Nonetheless, this does not apply on larger groups, but more when there is a smaller number of people in the interaction. Before, when I went somewhere with friends, communication was always present. Today, it is slowly waning with things like "have you seen that video? No? We must watch it now!". Bah!

And lastly (this has to do with what you wrote only in part): you said you are the talking type. I can be as well, but I am more of the quite type. Some days ago a friend called and we went out. I thought he wanted to talk, but most of the time we were both in silence. In the end, he said he called me because I am the only person he knows that is comfortable with not talking at all if in company. So you see, there are also those kind of people that can sit in bar, not talk, and not be on the mobile-phones (I have a very old one that does not support Internet or similar stuff).

[Elise Anton]

Stefano, you continue to amaze me with your insights. You dare to critique but do so in a manner that is not only relevant but also backed by honesty and the desire to 'better' the other person's work without any altruism.

Yes you and I agree on most things... I used to travel a lot too before children etc etc. When I said I talk a lot, I meant in the right circumstances and in truth, very rarely these days. When I am with the right person however, I can talk long into the night...

I agree about the music posing as another barrier, especially today's music with its monotonous, hypnotic sound.

And you are right, whatever conversation exists these days is a flow on from Social Media, where the lives and goings-on of others are deemed far more important than any of what I call serious discussion or pondering reflection as to the meaning of things...

I agree too, that more can be shared in silence sometimes than in a whole slew of exchanged words. There is communication in silence but the two communication must be sharing the moment, useless if one is contemplating and the other on social media...

This virus I talk about - and things may be different where you are - is everywhere. When we went to get my son's Learner's Permit, every person in the crowded room was on the phone, taxting or scrolling through social media or watching videos. When i take my sons out for a coffee, the three of us are the only ones not attached to a device.

There wasn't much conversation in my family when I was growing up. I guess because of this, I wanted the closer connection with my own children. We find ourselves dicussing all sorts of subjects, from technology to philosophy... Yet they struggle to find others to have these kinds of conversations with. That's why I questioned whether I had so disconnected them from the rest, I'd in fact isolated them, because they were looking for something that no longer existed...

Thank you again, I look forward to your comments and really, really admire the content in your mind.

[Stefano Segnan]

I understood what you meant when you wrote that you talk a lot. After reading your posts, I was sure you didn't indulge in small talks void of content, but rather meaningful ones. So I didn't meant it in a way that you merely "talk a lot" - and I just wanted to point out that not talking can be equally meaningful.
Yes, I see this virus as a symptom of "fear of being alone with oneself", or fear of being alone. When I wait anywhere as well, people always take out their phones and start typing, scrolling and whatever to look busy, to indirectly show other people around: "hey look! I have a life full of friends! I am not alone! I have businesses to attend!"

One more thing I forgot to mention: I agree also with the post .serah. wrote, but didn't say anything about it because she already did.

[Elise Anton]

.serah. is another incredible human being I have been blessed with meeting on here. Her comment about humans not being 'ready' for the technology suddenly thrust on them is spot on. A case of too much too soon, and the human mind unfortunately is on overload.

Yes. I think most people could not cope with even 15 minutes of absolute aloneness. Do they fear themselves? Do they fear that they will face an emptiness of mind? I can sit for hours and just be. One can have wonderful journeys through one's imagination... It took me a long time to realise I don't need anyone or anything, that I contain everything within. Sure there is love of family and friends, love of life, but first there has to be love of self. I've tried to teach my children this. So much time is wasted LOOKING for people and things in order to satisfy/identify/confirm/ etc one's identity.

You should comment on .serah.'s post. She has such purity of though, I am awed.

I love the fact you are both young. I struggle to find young minds NOT totally lost in distraction. I admire the two of you very much.