The Prayer of A Young Girl

A Poem by Elisabetta

I wrote this for one of my graduate level history classes in college, it was quite a surprise to me when I was done writing it and read what I had written. Hope there is no offense to the subject matter.

-Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name . . .

Oh merciful Lord, Divine Creator, One who is Most High, I have asked you for little more than blessings of health for my family. I beg you now for something more extreme than ever before . . .

-Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, On earth as it is in heaven . . .

I know I am supposed to honor my parents, Lord. I know it is wrong of me not to, but this time I know they are wrong, I just know it. Something is not right with Papa. No matter what I do, he is there. He says it is to make sure that I don’t run off with a boy that will want to play games with my heart and get me into trouble like María. I wonder what would happen if the trouble came to me . . .

-Give us this day our daily bread . . .

No one talks about María anymore. My beautiful sister with the long curly raven hair exists no more in this family. I remember the day she left, how Mama cried. I remember the hushed talks between Mama and Papa in the next room, all while they thought we were sleeping. I remember Mama telling María not to let the boys play with her that way. María kept asking her why not . . .

-And forgive us our trespasses . . .

María said Papa said it was ok to play that way, as long as you loved each other. Papa said love made it okay. She sobbed from the back of the pickup that took her to Tía Ana’s house three towns away. Papa said that as long as he loved me, it would always be okay. I think Mama knew it wasn’t the boys that got María into trouble. That man will never learn. Mama said to herself, with tears in her eyes, watching that truck pull away with her first-born in tow. We never saw María again after that. I have often wondered what has become of my raven-haired sister . . .

-As we forgive those who trespass against us . . .

Papa has been quiet since that day. Never speaking much about anything, he sneaks about the house. Mama asks him what he is hiding from, what scares him so, he never replies. Please Lord, protect my baby. Mama says over and over in her prayers each night. Protect her from the demons lurking around her. She is too young to know their true danger. I know she means me, but I don’t know what I need protection from . . .

-And lead us not into temptation . . .

Papa tells me temptations lurk everywhere, most of all in the hearts of young girls. Young girls do not know what is good for them, that is why the Lord gives them Papas; to protect them, to teach them all about love, and to prepare them for their husbands. He says only the touch of love is good enough for his girls. He tells me to settle for nothing less than absolute devotion and adoration from my husband. I still have five years before I marry. Why do you teach me about love so soon Papa . . .

-But deliver us from evil . . .

Lord, Padre Tomas says our bodies are to be a temple for Christ. We are not supposed to let the boys deface our temples. We are to keep them clean for you and our husbands. Padre Tomas also says to honor our father and mother, no matter what they ask of us. What then Lord, am I supposed to do when Papa asks me to play that game . . .

-For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours, Now and forever.

The game where we go off into the mountains, alone and Papa teaches me how to be a good wife. He tells me not to tell anyone. He tells me you would be mad if I told on Papa. You wouldn’t be mad would you? You wouldn’t punish me? You won’t punish me for an unclean temple would you? I told Papa you’d be mad about it. I told him you’d punish him for what he did.

For making me unclean . . .