Cold

A heart of ice, a revision of my original.

                                                                                                                                                        I've been watching us lately,
Through new eyes
That do not compromise
Their vision.

And what I'll say,
Will make you bray.
You'll hate me,
Assail me,
Force me to fall in line,
Like every other time.

Our sunlight's turned to shadow,
Our passion flame flickers,
I fight off every demon,

That causes us to bicker.

Our love is going stale,
Our warmth has turned cold,
I try everything I can,
And still, our love you've sold.

You say I am the cold one,
That I never tried,
But I've looked into your heart
Dear girl,
And what I see is ice.

Author's Note

As I said, this is a revision/alternate version of a previous poem.. Enjoy.

Reviews

[Cats Eye]

Very nicely put, the troubles of a relationship are shown in this pieve, the piece flows well together, i enjoyed reading this piece

[Rosary]

ooo nice you present romance heartbreak raw emotion thats what i love in a good poem

[Tina Kline]

Wow! The tragic pain of a dying relationship. Very powerful and well written. It gets right to the heart of the matter with a powerful punch! Ouch! Painful! Really really good poem and well written. It was easy to read which is always a good thing, I think.

Tina

[Seriana]

Ouch, that stings. But, it's true sometimes. Good write. I like it. :)